don't be afraid of pushing her away, taking from you without asking is disrespectful, setting a boundary and telling her that this is unacceptable is a start, enforcing that boundary will come afterward.
mmmmm
robx... police ...no but the rest, already on it.
I feel like every time I walk into a room I see what else is missing.
OUCH.
But.. She has made a choice. I am free to reply to an equal level - by my rules.
Money is an easy fix - before I see her tomorrow it will be sorted.
She planned and stripped the house.
Planned
Organised
Long term
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
Unfortunately the banks are closed at the moment, but in the morning I intend to change the bank details. I justify this by reasoning this will safeguard my home, and so my boys will always have somewhere to come.
Gyn, there is no need to justify your actions to this woman in her current state of run-away-ness. Your only justification is "I have decided that ________," or "It's what I decided," or "I felt this was best for me," or "I did what I felt I needed to do" or something very similar.
Your wife is destroying her marriage, and potentially good-sized pieces of your sons' hearts. YOU are not the one doing this, and YOU don't need to justify your actions to someone who is on this path.
don't be afraid of pushing her away, taking from you without asking is disrespectful, setting a boundary and telling her that this is unacceptable is a start, enforcing that boundary will come afterward.
mmmmm
robx... police ...no but the rest, already on it.
I feel like every time I walk into a room I see what else is missing.
OUCH.
But.. She has made a choice. I am free to reply to an equal level - by my rules.
Money is an easy fix - before I see her tomorrow it will be sorted.
She planned and stripped the house.
Planned
Organised
Long term
Regards, Gyn
No one says you have to press charges Gyn, it is a good idea as far as a legal standpoint is concerned, take inventory of what was taken, take pics, document it, contact the Police by phone, tell them what happened, they can come down or you can go down and fill out an official report.
Then its documented, I know, you're holding back, you're a good guy, a nice guy and you don't want to do anything that causes irreparable damage, I don't think that's going to happen, I think by filing the report it sends the msg to your wife that she needs to reconsider her actions when dealing with you and to respect you more and what is now considered your home & living space.
Doing nothing just communicates that when someone does this to you, that you will do nothing.
But again, this is just advice, do what you need to do, taking inventory and taking pics is an easy thing you can do by yourself.
FYI...the advice that you're getting, especially from robx, is good advice. Most guys in these circumstances operate on the basis of fear...fear of pushing her away. Fear is not a good basis to operate on. Reason, and sound logic, and strength...these are a good basis to operate on. And that's the kind of advice that he is giving you...take it. You'll be better off, regardless of how things turn out with your marriage.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I would want him to feel comfortable with all of his decisions and unfortunately we can't just learn this stuff and apply it immediately, it takes a while to sink in, it's not like an update for your windows pc, download, install, reboot, ready to go.
What Antlers just posted is important, don't operate on the basis of fear, no knee jerk reactions or other "jerk" actions required ;-)
You probably should press charges. Its usually a good wakeup call for people. Like when my ex-wife pressed charges on my current for starting a fight with her. Current wife said she probably won't be starting any fights anymore.
I think you press charges if your supposed to here. Dealing with the police is really going to make the wife evaluate where she is at in life and take inventory. It may be more profitable to get out the game she's in and come back home, stop going the direction she is.
don't be afraid of pushing her away, taking from you without asking is disrespectful, setting a boundary and telling her that this is unacceptable is a start, enforcing that boundary will come afterward.
mmmmm
robx... police ...no but the rest, already on it.
I feel like every time I walk into a room I see what else is missing.
OUCH.
But.. She has made a choice. I am free to reply to an equal level - by my rules.
Money is an easy fix - before I see her tomorrow it will be sorted.
She planned and stripped the house.
Planned
Organised
Long term
Regards, Gyn
No one says you have to press charges Gyn, it is a good idea as far as a legal standpoint is concerned, take inventory of what was taken, take pics, document it, contact the Police by phone, tell them what happened, they can come down or you can go down and fill out an official report.
Then its documented, I know, you're holding back, you're a good guy, a nice guy and you don't want to do anything that causes irreparable damage, I don't think that's going to happen, I think by filing the report it sends the msg to your wife that she needs to reconsider her actions when dealing with you and to respect you more and what is now considered your home & living space.
Doing nothing just communicates that when someone does this to you, that you will do nothing.
But again, this is just advice, do what you need to do, taking inventory and taking pics is an easy thing you can do by yourself.
100% agree with this. That BS move is the highly disrespectful and should be addressed.
The WAW has just rang to confirm the handover of the boys, and I have spoken to them.
time to start my list from yesterday....
see you later... Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
