Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

DLS - I wish this A would end, but I do not think it will be for awhile. If it did, then we could deal with the issues that only two need to work on. We will not be able to it in a triangle relationship. That is the reality as I see it. Sad but true. Even our MC tried to tell her this. He also the said the M will not last with another man involved.

MC told me to put money and protect myself and the kids. He said he is very worried about me. He believe she may try to take the kids and is putting money to move out on me very soon.

I believe it. She is definitely up to something. I am in a bind in so many ways. I just to not see my options and alternative too clearly. Losing my kids is not an option. So I have to live with the situation for now.

I will focus on what is important and do the best I can.

Contacting the OMW is just unsettling to me today.

[LSG]

I really appreciate all the support I have been receiving today. Lately, it has been a real rollercoaster ride for me. I wish I was truly detached and did not care still. This is the hardest part for me. I react to what she does. I don't how to stop doing that. I have improved over my time being here. But I need to truly not care, and this will be hard for me even though I know I need to do it.

Keep the support coming. I have to keep focused on what everyone has been telling me here. I want to do this. I have to do this.

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

Its going to be easier for you to "not care", if you have a fulfilling life outside of her. you have to spend most of your time on you and thinking about you. We know if the marriage was good it woulnd't have to be this way. The marriage is bad like the rest of us. If we stay "in it" we get hurt.

Once your doing your own thing it won't be any thinking about being detached, you will simply be on your own time. Over time, you will be able to be around her and not affected.

[LSG]

DLS,

You are right that I will be able to detach easier if I have more interest or activities outside the home. I will be glad for this day.

I did take the money left in the account and pay some of my bills, and she will now have to come up with more money in there to pay for food, gas, etc. I guess she did not think about this. I have to protect my interest too. She has to realize I will do that. So I did it.

Does not feel as good as I thought it would. I do not know why I feel a little quilty at the same time happy. I hate this in between feelings.

[LSG]

The rollercoaster continues. I made some calls today, and I found some people that will help me with my sitch. If she does try to take the kids, which there is every indication that she will. I will not let it happen. It made me feel a little safer about that. I listened to coach and everyone here to take each problem that I have one at a time. That is is what I am doing. I did not let her push me around on the bills or things at home. I told her what she is doing is wrong with the money and to our family. I did not let her make excuses. I was calm and told her that I she will not keep me from being involved in what happens in our M and at home with the kids. I did not let it get into an argument. I was very calm and made my point. I simply told her this is what will be acceptable to me.

She did not fight me on it. I will continue to just do what I am doing with a new sense of security that I have people out there that will help me with my sitch. It really feels good for a change. I am doing much better after reading thread from idontunderstand, and advice from OTMT, DLS, Coach, and others that gave me support.

I could do it without you. Thank you so much!

I still have a long hard road to travel, but it just got a little easier.

[LSG]

I hope I do not sound to harsh on my W because I still do love her. I have to take care of me and the kids too. She is having an A, and I have to do what I feel is best under the circumstances. I do not want a D, but I cannot be the doormat for her to walk all over all the time. I do have my self respect and dignity too.

Please keep giving me suggestions and ideas to make my life better and hopefully my M will be better. I am setting goals for myself and trying to move my career in the right direction. I hope and pray for the strength to make it through and hopefully keep my family together. Others her have done it. Why not me too.

I have to make it through this!!!

[DaddyLongShanks]

I hope I do not sound to harsh on my W because I still do love her. I have to take care of me and the kids too. She is having an A, and I have to do what I feel is best under the circumstances. I do not want a D, but I cannot be the doormat for her to walk all over all the time. I do have my self respect and dignity too.

Please keep giving me suggestions and ideas to make my life better and hopefully my M will be better. I am setting goals for myself and trying to move my career in the right direction. I hope and pray for the strength to make it through and hopefully keep my family together. Others her have done it. Why not me too.

I have to make it through this!!!

You don't have a R as long as she has a A. By the way LSG, it sets you back over time to be cheated like this. Not good for your mind.

[LSG]

DLS - You are so right.

I have felt that my M is ending so much today when I found information that she is preparing a summons I believe for mediation. I do not know what that means. Part of me loves her so much. I almost told her that I want our M and not D, but I stopped myself. I do not know if I should reverse course on the 180 at this point. I feel that everything is ending. I hate this feeling! It hurts so bad. I hope I am doing the right things.

I do not know what to do. I think I am doing the right thing, but then I have doubts. I do not know how to completely detach. I do want to save my marriage, but I don't think I can.

[LSG]

I found in my history that she is checking moving companies.

Please somebody help me with this before it is too late. I need to be strong right now. I need to bust my W and the OM R now.

I have to call the OMW on Monday too.

I really am having a hard time with this tonight. It feels like it never ends. These ups and downs drive me crazy. I don't know how everyone else deals with their sitches on a daily basis. I was doing so good, but I have felt that I have regressed. I have to get it together. I need to follow the right course of action.

I just do not know how to stop from go back when I need to go forward. My temporary position will be ending in two weeks. I am so disappointed in that. I hope the permanent part-time position comes along soon. I need to be working doing something.

I just would appreciate as many responses as possible especially now.

Thanks!

[DaddyLongShanks]

Focus points.

Finding your new temp job or permenant employment.
180 and GAL activities. On Monday you want to talk with OMW so hopefully she blows him out the water.

You can't do much more than this.