So what do you suggest OTM? Just keep going the way we are going, very slowly but constructive? I guess I can live like that, at least my son is happy and we are quietly working on things separately.
My fear is that after all of this she will either leave still or cheat on me waiting for a miracle to happen in this dream world she has made for herself. I am worried about some fast talking SOB is going to take advantage of her weak state of mind and she will feel "In Love" with him. I have read this story so many times on here and friends who went or are going through the same thing. Why does everyone run to get a divorce when they are not happy or sleep around? The vows say better or for worse. If I did not agree to these words and believe that she and I were supposed to be together I would not be here trying to save my marriage. I have other women right now that would gladly take her place and have told me so. I realize that these are all out of my control and I need to let them go. But I have already been hurt so many times by her for doing just this and I am not sure I can take it again. She needs counseling to get her head clear of all of the baggage she has squirreled away over the years. Just like I did. I got help though.
I reread her letter to me that she left me when she thought it was over. It hurts!! She kept saying that she did everything she could. That is so NOT TRUE!!! All she ever had to do is talk to me. Tell me what was bothering her. Tell me what hurt her and we could come to some conclusion on how to deal with it. Instead she let it build up for years without saying a word and then one day out of the blue she was gone. SO NOT RIGHT!!! I am so gun shy with everything I do with her because she does not let me know how she feels. Does she like it? Hate it? WHAT!!?!?!?! SPEAK!!!!!
I asked her out for Saturday night. She agreed and asked what we were doing. I told her it was a surprise. I am trying to come up with something different. Any suggestions out there. I know that I know her best and should be able to come up with something, but I was hoping something a little bit romantic. Or is that too much?
But for tonight...I am going out with the guys and having a great time. I am going to go buy some new clothes on the way home from work and I am going to get some cologne and wear that too. I have not done that in years. I am going to have a great time. I need to relax and GAL. Before, I always wanted to go out with W. I think some alone time will be better right now. So as the great philosopher Billy Madison once said "BOYS NIGHT OUT!!!!"
