thank you pam for the reminder of listing positives, still today, i am feeling down a bit, not about my relationship perse, just a reall "sad" feeling of life lost
thank you mal for stopping by
just journaling a bit
well, i certainly must be eminating some powerful negative vibes around the house, because since my husbnad has been home he keeps asking if i am ok. i am telling him that i am tired (which i am) i am antsy (which i am) and i seem to have a bit of a head cold (which i do) - how do i seriously tell him that i am doing some major reflecting of my life as of late and it's a powerful set of emotions that are bringing me down
do i feel like a failure? no. do i feel like i could have done better, by all means yes. do i feel like it's a bit too little too late? sometimes i see that.
the issue of trust has gone around the board a ton as of late, but i have no trust issues wtih hubby at this time. i am not worried where he is (work or home) - i don't worry about his phone calls, i don't worry about him seeing anyone - so what are my worries?
my issue is i believe "am i good enough for my husband too love, or is it too late" - have i ruined things so much that there is no reconciling and we are both doomed to a life of living like room-mates for the sake of the kids? i see saw with this very issue - is this kind of life worth it for the kids sake?
we don't fight. we have fun. hubby isn't abusive. so yeah, there are lots of worse places i could be. so why can't i find the happieness? why can't i just be patient? cause this living in limbo land sucks, plain and simple
sure there are positives, every day there are positives, and sure this is about me, not him, but it's about me that i am having the most problem with right now. ugh, i am not making myself clear
