...is how I would have liked to sign my last physical note to X, but he wouldn't get the reference.
Avermont here--I would like to link my "how to 180 when you have been too independent" and "next steps" threads to this forum, but can't quite figure it out.
Any of you smarties out there can help with this?
And then I will continue my healing and moving forward on this forum.
No point in being on Infidelity anymore. No R with X, equals no infidelity. It's his business now who he is with, right?
Well, with my finally keeping a dishtowel in the car for those driving/crying sprees, I have been thinking how important it is to always know where your towel is!!
I never thought about that. I know the first six months or so, I kept several boxes of kleenex in the car. I would head out about 3:30 or so for my daily crying jag. But doing that helped release the pent up pain too.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Pillow. It was thicker. Almost three years later, and I still use it sometimes, although now it is rare...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well, now I need the Heart of Gold drive to leave this improbability behind.
Oh, friends--X emailed me asking me to call. I emailed back, sure,about 1:00, can you tell me what this is about? no answer.
Short--They're getting married. He felt he wanted to get it to me in person. He said he wanted to tell me in actual person. He said something like if I wanted to get together to talk, ask questions, he was willing to do that. I said something like I asked that months ago, and you didn't want to, and I wasn't aware that he was now willing to do so.
He said with some frustration: I've been trying to get together for months!
I said: it always seemed to be about the house, or the bills. You never indicated you wanted to talk about personal stuff.
He said: well,l was trying, and it seemed like you were putting up the barriers.
well, yeah, trying to save my heart and my life.
Anyhow, I managed to be calm, said congrats, asked when the wedding would be. He said he didn't know that, that it would be small, no big event.
I thanked him for letting me know. I asked again--if you want to talk, what are you proposing? a counselor? what?
He said he wasn't proposing anything, just letting me know he was willing.
I don't feel that now is the time to ask anything. What could I say?
Oh, and karma is there somewhere--he broke his leg unpacking the truck.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
So--from a contented afternoon weeding MY yard, to the bath towel on the floor howling.
Oh, god, if I had only spoken my heart and asked him to marry me--I had wanted to do so for some 3 years--but our communication..anyhow...I need all your help and support now.
