She has made a choice to organise a new home, pay rent, get rid of some her clutter last week, organise a way of moving her stuff( her family did this), take the kids out of school early today and finally take my children away from me.
Unfortunately the banks are closed at the moment, but in the morning I intend to change the bank details. I justify this by reasoning this will safeguard my home, and so my boys will always have somewhere to come.
There is no custody 'agreement' at the moment. When she left last time, I had the boys whenever I was not at work, ie 60% custody. It will be different this time because she has ALL their stuff. So she will be dropping off whatever they need when they are at mine. So I will be the minority party in terms of custody. This will for the time being be a 'ad hock' arrangement.
Me and the WAW spoke when I got home. She kept saying she was sorry for this, and she did not want it to be this way.
She will be at the moment very agreeable where the boys are concerned.
The lack of a road map is a little daunting.
I still do not have the 'pit of despair' feeling that I had when she left the first time. It just isn't there.
So a plan is forming slowly.....
1/ Sort out the banking details
2/ Sort out some sleeping arrangements for my boys.(they have no bed)
3/ Enjoy my time with the boys.
4/ Arrange the time share of my boys on my terms.
5/ Maintain minimal contact and keep communication short. This will give me time to reflect upon events and what has been said.
6/ Measure her actions against mine to avoid being aggressive. If she has taken a step then I allow myself to take a step of equal measure and give myself the freedom to justify it.
7/ Maintain the initiative with my boys without being awkward.
If I do not allow her to enter the house, this will be seen as being awkward and will prevent us from a moment to talk about how we will time share the boys.
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
