my guess is this: h feels like he put more money into the house - the home itself, the furniture, etc. and he's pissed off that the law says the home is divided equally 50/50. his original plan was to make me agree to 75% for him, and 25% + the engagement ring for me. he felt that was fair and equitable. i said no, i believe it's 50/50. now he's on a mission to recover as much of the 25% loss that he believes he is entitled to. that's how he split the furniture. the law says 50/50 on the division of furniture but he decided the rule will be that anything his parents gave us, would be his. anything given to us by other people, we split 50/50. if his parents gave us anything of value, legally i am entitled to half the value of it. but i didn't ask for it. i had to pick and choose my battles. furniture division wasn't one of my battles. we tried to split the furniture on three occasions and most times it ended up with h throwing a temper tantrum about how unfair it was for him.
he made up this rule of gifts given to us were ours to keep. except when it was above a certain dollar value. this is where the jewellery and ring came into play. i think he is holding the ring hostage so i would agree to the 75/25 split. he knows i cherish the ring. i only wear it on special occasions. it's very precious to me due to the sentimental value.
in the end, i walked away with a couch (that he said i could have), the kitchen table & chairs (that he said i could have), and the master bedroom suite (which we fought over). the rest, he took because he was angry that i got the bedroom suite. he was so angry, he decided the mattress was his, along with the bedding. i sat there in awe .. watching him throw this tantrum. we had a set of pillows in the linen closet. and he said he wanted 1 .. "you want a 50/50 split, right?" so he wouldn't even leave me with a set of pillows. i didn't fight it. who was i sleeping with anyway? nobody .. it would be just me. all i needed was one pillow. so there was no need to get all worked up over ... stuff.
after he moved out. i went to pack the remainder of my stuff in the house. i saw that he had left the pillow behind. i texted him and asked if he had forgotten it. he said no. i thought you might want a set.
why get yourself worked up over stuff like that? the less i reacted, the more agitated h got. but i wasn't unreasonable. once h calmed down, i think he saw how silly he was to do fight over a pillow.
why do they want the money back from the wedding? beats me. i'm still in shock mode. maybe because they feel our marriage was like an investment .. like they were "paying" me to keep their son happy and satisfied. now that the m is dissolving, they want their money back or they didn't get their money's worth? y'know, that makes me sound like a paid escort. i'm offended!
i am reading the learned optimism note found on shearonforschools.com.
this weekend. financial planning, grocery run, clean out my car, yoga, might find time to visit a friend who just bought a new house. clean up apartment - female friend from my squash club coming over for dinner. i'm famous for my soups and my friend is like a little sister to me. i tend to want to take care of those around me like they are my siblings. if they aren't eating right, i'll feed them.
my main goals for the summer are: - tennis lessons - i bought cute tennis skirts for this! - baking class - found a highly recommended fun baking course. - revive the orchid that my h gave me.
as for your preppy east coast comment. yup. how'd you know?
