Things are continuing to change to the point our son has picked up on it, asking me about his dad. Son(23) is still at home, something happened that prevented him from closing his loan yesterday, and he's to wait another week.
Apparently, the reactions of dad toward son are changing for the better, and I think it threw son a little off-balance...it was totally unexpected for him.
Things had gotten strained between the two, what with husband "tattling" on son every chance he got, and son not wanting to talk to him any more than he had to. I'd stayed out of it; letting them BOTH know that I would NOT be the messenger or go between. If they had any trouble, work it out for themselves.
Son had pitched right in when husband broke his ankle, and managed to put his own feelings aside to take care of his dad. I don't know what I would have done without him.
Like me, son'd eventually detached from the whole situation, getting on with his own life, understanding there was NOTHING he could do either, to help his dad.
I never did ask Son to choose sides in this...husband is STILL his dad, right or wrong, and although we are close in relationship; I still stressed the importance of sometimes helping him anyway, even if he said he didn't want the help.
Son was chuckling about all the changes last night; letting me know that he and dad have started getting along MUCH better than they had been previously...and so the changes continue.
Husband stays in touch with me several times a day, and he's talking up a storm about everything and anything...threw me for a loop once again, as he is usually a very quiet person who doesn't say much at all.
I know the drill, go on with my life, allow what will happen to happen, and things will be fine.
Will watch to see if he stays on this positive path, but for now, all is well.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
