You are right we do have to figure this out on our own. I just wish I knew what was best for my sitch. I read the suggestions and what I should do. I try to understand and think how I can use what I am being told for my sitch, but I worry that I will lose the kids, and I have to focus on protecting them even if I am miserable. I found out that that is what she wants. She wants me to be miserable. I cannot say how I know this, but it is true.
LSG, I felt that mine would prefer me miserable too. What I rediscovered is I can make it nearly impossible for her to force misery on me as long as I take care of myself. For me this means getting outside the house and doing some fun things, taking care of my physical health, eating well and enjoying new progress. We're obviously not gong to make progress in the marriage so we can backburner that.
I'm looking forward to taking some classes at the community college and boning up in area's of my career. Also I would like to get out to some dance clubs, and someone mentioned church single group. I know its going to feel good taking a salsa dance class and being close to a lady who has no pre-determined bias against me. Its also going to feel good to be successful in various area's outside of marriage.
How do you think your wife got turned against you? The OM? Her friends?
Originally Posted By: LSG
I know you and everyone else cannot do it for me. I have had enough, but I need to make sure that I have some financial stability before I am able to make the tough decisions that I wish I could make now.
I need and want a job so bad. I want this more than anyone could imagine. It has been so tough for me to find one. I don't know why. I have some opportunities that look promising, but it cannot be soon enough for me.
You'll get your new job. Right now your job is finding a job. I was there too, and probably looked at 3,000 to 5,000 jobs over a one year period. It also makes you feel better to go after the job search like a job. I started logging the jobs I was searching by job title, location and date. It helped. I did my job search for around 8 hrs for the day, and afterward would go to the gym and workout.
Originally Posted By: LSG
I read your thread all the time, and I am just so happy that you have found peace in your sitch. I am not afraid of my W, but I am seriously concerned about losing the kids. I can lose everything else, but not them.
I know I need to do something, but I need to make sure that I have my rights as a father and am not a dad sometimes.
I'm sure the attourneys can help you to stay within parameters that allow you to keep your rights as a father. Also in our state there is the "CPS" ( Child Protective Services ) offices, where in my case it may pay to educate myself on them and attend any classes they have on parenting.
Originally Posted By: LSG
I really appreciate you posting to my thread today. You are going through a similar situation, and you give me hope all the time. Thank you so much for some peace of mind today.
This may sound kind weird to say, but I am very proud of what you have accomplished in your thread. Keep doing what you are doing. I have so much respect for you!
It makes me feel good anytime any of you have a success, or strengthen your position. Also some of the men and women whose hands where forced to divorce or spouse is outside of the house, their spouse is currently out of their mind. Theres nothing you can do about that.
