Quote: he just called a few minutes ago to have me start to put my thinking cap on on better shipping methods
If you need any help with that, let me know (via email?), its part of what I do for a livin'.
Ya know, I think that's why so few people examine themself to closely ... they don't want to bum themselves out, but it take personal fortitude to be honest with yourself in order to seek a better life for yourself.
Kitti, you may not recognize it yet but you have already taken the first steps to break the cycle that has prevented you from achieving those long term goals that has led to all those perceptions you have about yourself and others.
Next is to change your perception from not being able to change things ... to accepting that you can change what you control and that any seemingly minute change on your part can have a butterfly effect that will alter the future outcomes from repeating those of the past.
As an example, the fact that you moved around alot is something you had no control over, but what you could change is how you focused on your feelings. Instead, as in the past, of focusing on the pain of the physical seperation the friendship/relationship has now taken on, you could decide to focus on what efforts you can do towards the goal of making the friendship survive despite the distance between you now. Instead of regretting over letting such friendships end, you could then take comfort in the fact that it still exists. Upon working at what you do to make those goals reality will change your perception about the power you have to change "things" and that everyone has this power.
Quote: so in reference to this relationship, i go back to believing that i can't change things. oh yeah, i see forward movement, but do i see a reaching of a goal? NO - that i can say quite honestly i can't. i see hubby and i not ending up spending our lives together. that is the ultimate goal i see
If you can accept that you can change what you control and that will lead to the butterfly effect which will alter the future, then we can address how you can visualize your ultimate goal and that starts by breaking down that goal into intermediate goals that as you work on making them happen will show you are well along the way.
So to picture your ultimate goal - "i see hubby and i not ending up spending our lives together", start to break it down to what is it you see in the R that tells you that you are on the path to spending your lives together and these become your intermediate goals. Then put the binoculars away and focus on these near term goals. As you obtain these one by one, you will no longer have a need for those binoculars because you'll have moved close enough to shift your perception to seeing that its all within reach.
As I said, you have already taken the first steps. Give yourself time for the journey to personal growth based upon your self-examination to unfold and you will begin to see you are heading in the direction you desire to go.
