Question

[awest1217]

Been thinking lately about the D, and when it comes to S and even myself, we are used to the arrangement that is happening right now. We see H once every two weeks for between 2 and 4 hours and that is it. S never spends the night with H and he never asks to see S alone. It stinks for S because he deserves a father figure, but my brother has really been stepping in on that aspect. It is nice because S and my nephew are only 18 months apart so they play really well so when S is over with my brother and sister-in-law, it helps them because S and N play so they don't have to entertain N the whole time and can get work done.

I know that staying with H is not fair to me because I deserve to find someone else, but right now at least with the summer and warm weather, I am not really lonely because i have plenty to do, so I am not sure what I will do. I just would hate to jumble up S's schedule again and his life again when he is used to things this way, and really this is all he knows.

Other news, we are doing something with H tonight for dinner. Not sure what because the in-laws had something come up so no pizza. H asked if I had a preference, and I said I don't care what we do. I never got word back so I have no clue what will happen.

Also I am starting to really get worried about some health things. I have always been undiagnosed hypoglycemic. As long as I eat a proper diet, it usually is not a problem. I had some issues over last summer and fall, but that was because I wasn't eating properly and had lost about 15 pounds in one year. Not much, but since I don't have much to lose...it was a problem. Anyway, now I am probably back to normal weight wise, but the last week, I have been getting really dizzy. If I shake my head, I feel like I am going to fall over. There are a lot of times I just feel in a fog and I feel like I have a hard time focusing vision wise. It is all strange. Now with the weather change, I did have some cold issues at the beginning of the week, so it could be an inner ear infection, but this is happening more frequently and there are some other symptoms. Now I will say that I haven't been eating as much protein as I normally do so that can be a huge factor. I am going to try and get some nuts and hard boil some eggs to nibble on, but if that doesn't work soon...I don't want to have to deal with meds for this so please pray with me that it will go away once I try a few new things and put more protein back in my diet. It could all just be my body starting to get back to normal after a long year of craziness so I don't want to freak yet, but I also don't want to think it is nothing if it is.