Husband moved in w OW 2 weeks ago - what now?

[MarieC]

Thanks, newmama!

I actually (without knowing that this was out there) did this right after he moved out. I tried to set the same tone, too - that I love him but I can't pretend to be friends with him while he's sleeping with Bimbo. He hasn't been great about honoring my request, sometimes sending me 5-6 emails in one morning, offering to help me with the bills, with finding a new car, with setting up a new router in the house, asking about my friend who died, etc. This was all normal from him BEFORE but I don't think contact with him does anything but prop up his relationship with Bimbo (he hadn't seen me for a few weeks before we had to break up our household and during the days we did, he kept saying he'd forgotten how nice it was to be with me and that our conversations were so interesting!) It also makes me his "Plan B," something that I think - if I cooperate with it - makes him have less respect for me and shows I am a doormat. Am I being too hardcore on this line of thinking?

Also, at the lawyer's office, when we signed the postnup (right after the moving van took away our furniture to his and Bimbo's new place), he refused to discuss divorce plans. I tried to follow up later and again he refused.

BUT he moved out of our home and in with Bimbo. Actions speak louder than words, I think -- but I also think his pain is genuine. Today, too, in our very brief encounter (I had to hand over some financial files he left at our house), he immediately offered to do my bills - but I don't think that's a good idea.

Thoughts? (Thanks again for writing - am incredibly lonely and confused right now. Almost everyone I know wants me to hate him and I am SOOO not there [yet?] I'm not kidding when I say head remembers the last 12 weeks, but my heart and body remember the love and kindness and sweet husband and before that boyfriend of the last 12 YEARS.)