W still wants separation, need to DB more

[OfficerInNeed]

This just seems a bit much. How long has this gone on between you two? She tells you when she leaves for work, when she gets there, when she goes to lunch, when she leaves work, what route she is taking, when she gets home?

You do realize that isn't normal don't you?
Remember that movie. Luke was being OBEDIENT, but secretly inside was wanting to escape their clutches but he learned to let them believe he would just do what they wanted. I would bet she feels smothered by having to do this but feel obligated and doesn't want to start a fight. Especially in her present mindset. This doesn't make sense.

This has gone on for years, for about 6 years now. It was reciprocal. Each of us would text one another before we left or when we arrived somewhere to let the other know we made it to our destination safely. Before my W would include many affectionate words in her text.

Lets say for instance I was going somewhere. I got to my destination and did not tell my W I was there and just carried on with my business, W would send a text "Everything OK? you make it there OK?"

I know this all seems obsessive and "not normal" but at the time, it was our normal.

You may very well be right about her feeling obligated or that it has become routine that she just does it. Most of the time is it same txt in the message which I believe is here just being obedient to a habit.

I do break this cycle and make it a choice for her rather than her feel like she has to do it?

I start to feel as if our R can never be salvaged. I know it will never be what it was (and I dont want it to be). I want it to be healthy but seems like this mountain is unclimbable...