Of late I'm no longer inviting H places even though he was accepting occasionally and we were going out and having fun. Still there is lots of weird, frequent communication and no one is detached, even though we do not exchange child duty every day. These situations are hard. There is no magic Detach button. Good luck. I think part of your H's wall is maintained by him having to see you so much maybe. It's become a routine way for him to "stay dim" while around you and not be uncomfortable. Don't know what can be done. Lately I'm fresh out of ideas!
