Also, have you ever told his parents that this D is not something you want?
i haven't spoke to them since we dropped them off at the airport the day before the d-bomb was dropped.
i think they are the driving force behind it. they could care less if i wanted it or not. i think they want to hurt me for how i "mistreated" them over christmas.
but on the other hand, i don't know what my h told them. many times, i wonder what he tells anybody. because his behaviour makes it look like he is the LBS.
normally, the LBS is angry for being left behind. the WAS usually just wants out and would say take whatever you want, i just want out. i don't care about the stuff .. just leave me with a mattress and i'm good.
but no. my h wants 75% of everything and he wants out. like wtf? and his parents are extremely disappointed in me for wanting what the law says i'm entitled to. is there something wrong with this picture?
they not only want the wedding money back. and h wants my engagement ring back. it's not an heirloom. it was a brand new ring. but why are they being so vindictive? because they thought i was mean to them at christmas? i didn't hit anybody. i didn't yell at anybody. i set boundaries on them. i minimized my conversations with my MIL when she treated me like i was a 6 yr old. and what? because they didn't like my boundaries, they want everything back?
the anger ate away at me for 4 months. i didn't put up a fight. i vented to friends and decided the lawyers would handle it. but tell anybody that they wanted the wedding money back, they just roll their eyes.
they had the gall to say that they felt they've given us so much over the year and have received so little in return. i found out later that his parents were the ones who suggested he ask for the wedding money back. because his father complained about how much money they dropped on our wedding. they paid their relatives to attend our wedding. they willingly paid for their flights, hotel, meals, and transportation. why should i be responsible to pay them back for it? i am not the one who is asking for the d. it's THEIR son.
since when did gifts have strings attached to them? had i known this, i wouldn't have accepted anything from them. to assumed it came from the heart. what did they want back? money?
do you think h told them that i wanted out? i got along with them at christmas right up until the day they left. h didn't tell them how much he hurt me.
h said they felt unwelcomed and were afraid of me. i'm not a threatening person. as i said in a previous post that it doesn't matter how much of a pain they are, i still show some level of respect.
i didn't put up a fight because then i would have been begging, pleading, and crying. and i didn't want to do that. usually they say you should just agree with it. i didn't do that because i didn't agree with it but i did let him know that i don't agree with his excuses/reasons for d. i said i want to come to that conclusion myself. i don't want him ramming his reasons down my throat and saying i have to accept it. no way. he's been told this already. and he won't go to counselling and he won't give me a really good reason.
during the times when i pressed him for the real reason, it boiled down to two things:
1.) he couldn't get over how i "mistreated his parents at christmas". 2.) there was a lack of bedroom action in december.
those were the things that kept coming up in our r related discussions.
the thing with my h is that he makes a lot of assumptions and he's often wrong. yeah, i said it .. he's wrong.
he said his parents were cold in our house and i wouldn't let them turn the thermostat up.
i wouldn't let them? uh .. there's no lock on our thermostat. he's a big boy .. it's his house too .. he has fingers .. go turn it up yourself! i will ask them if they are cold, and they will say they are fine. what do you want me to do? i don't sit around thinking .. hmm, what do they really mean? guessing games are for children. grow up.
i'm sure his parents want their #1 spot back. they always had it. i took a back seat for the longest time and i didn't ask for a d.
the more i vent to you, it just seems like h and his parents want me to pay for this whole deal. parents want me to pay for the wedding money they put in. h wants me 75% of the house money. why am i being called the gold digger? i'm only going for what i'm entitled to and nothing more. why do they think i have to pay? i didn't even ask for this. i didn't cheat on my h. i didn't abuse him in any way. anybody with a brain should know how this works. it's goes against human nature. which is why i'm confused and i don't know how to approach the situation.
