Altering My Life by Altering My Attitude of Mind

[sage]

i have no problem in seeing and believing that negative thoughts can bring about negative results in life, i see it in my life and also in others.

but if the opposite is supposed to be true, how come i don't feel that way? i am really focusing on trying to be positive, to look at the positives in my sitch, but why do i think MY HUSBAND will be the one that won't benefit from these positives? why do i feel that no matter how positive i am - he still doesn't want this marriage?

even tho i see time and time again the benefits of dbn on this board, why do i think it wont work for me?

oh don't get me wrong. i am not giving up - but there is always something in the back of my mind that says "this is not going to work"

well...not sure I can tell you why...but I sure can relate.

I think as shiny suggests the "this isn't gonna work" feeling is still a byproduct of negative thinking...not the sporadic application of negative thoughts but something more "core", more "fundamental" and hence, more pervasive.

for me...I guess it's the sense that I am sort of inherently "unloveable"or "unchoseable". That feeling, of course, didn't get any better with h's ea or the aftermath but in some space I think that drives the point home that "It" (the positives) can't come from external sources...it just has to come from some fundamental belief that I AM loveable, etc. regardless of what happens with my m, etc.

Anyway...that's just me...as I said....but maybe there's some core thought for you, too?

Sage