Quote: oh don't get me wrong. i am not giving up - but there is always something in the back of my mind that says "this is not going to work"
I'll put my psychology hat on here and suggest, Kitti, that this feeling/thought has its roots in one or another "Mistaken Belief" that you may or may not even be aware of.
These are common precursers of both anxiety and depression problems. They are the "Parents" of the negative thoughts we hear so often.
So what might your Mistaken Belief be?
Here are some common ones:
The world is a dangerous place
No one can be trusted
I don't deserve happiness
I don't deserve love
I'm somehow fundamentally "broken" (thus what works for others will not work for me)
Nothing I do can change things
People never really change
If any of these strike a chord, or a variation of your own comes up the thing to do is CHALLENGE this belief.
Where is the SOLID evidence for it? IS it in fact immutable? List all possible evidence that REFUTES this belief.
And WHY, even if you can find some evidence to support it, SHOULD you keep nurturing it when it brings nothing but negativity?
As I posted to Pam earlier today: I tell my students this:
Your thoughts are just thoughts...you don't have to believe all of them!"
