That is honestly a hard question to answer. Without having a solid interaction with your H it his hard for me to read. All I can say is I have "seen" people in worse places. You have a few things against you. At the worst.. you got a 50/50 shot. Just like everybody else here.
"i guess in the two cases described above, it was effortless. i was being the Good Girl. i'm not interested so .... i didn't make my decisions based on emotion?! is that what you mean?"
Yes.. this is exactly what I am talking about. When I was practicing.. I called them my "unsuspecting public". This is what you will need to mimic when you make your statement.
"how do i get myself out of this emotional fog? i'm going to have to start practicing on people before trying it out on h."
It is different for everyone. GAL, LRT, Going Dark, etc.. are all ways to help you find something that works. Posting can help. Basically you try things till you find something. Mine was hitting softball's at the batting cage... and reading posts.
"there is no need for that."
Well damn! It can be so much fun for me.
"in my later posts, i reveal that when h dropped the d-bomb, he had said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids. he felt it was a difference of ours. i said kids was negotiable. i actually wasn't sure if i really wanted them. yeah, it would be nice to have them but i also had a lot of fears when it came to having children. but he said he felt i would resent him if we didn't have them. again, trying to put words in my mouth when he didn't ask how i felt about not having kids. his mom really wanted grandkids. i wasn't pressured by her but i would have loved to give her grandkids."
Knowing your history and every little detail.. for me is not that important. Sometimes I think it makes you focus too much on why you are "here". If you wanna hash it out.. please do. Coach is reading and Laura is too. I read it but.. unless something sticks out.. I won't say much. I am going to be more effective at directing you as you step into some "drama".
"while we're on this topic. bring out your 2x4."
You have not done anything to me to deserve them yet. You said mean things.. so what. Plus you got your 2x4 already.. he left. It was effective.. you are paying attention now.
"my anniversary is in june. should i write it in a card?"
Dunno.. we will see where we are in about 2-3 weeks.
I am headed to work.. and I have some things going on today (my grandmother was taken to the hospital) so I am not sure when I will be back. It may be late tonight before I get back to you.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
