"All rise"

[Bworl]

I too will echo in with the conflict inside when our kids seem "ok" with the ex and, even harder, the significant other of the ex.

I still will not allow my ex's new husband near my home. I have shaken his hand only one time, and only then because I was challenged internally by reading of someone else's "higher road" experience on this board.

And yet, Frank...we know inside that we want our kids to be happy and comfortable whereever they are. Even with our ex.

Didn't frank_d hit the nail on the head with the comment that your ex will not be able to sustain the "disney Mom" role for long? And even if she does, while it will often grate inside, in the end anything that gives the kids positive experiences is ultimately a good thing.

There is nothing easy about this. There should be nothing easy about this. The most difficult part of your story is that it does certainly seem as though you bear the brunt of the burden, when it is your ex who stepped away from the marriage. I know it burns. I also know that if you allow time to do it's part, and if you fill your life with good things now, it will not burn so brightly forever.


Even now, post-divorce, it's important to stay the course. You have no idea what events will unfold in the coming months and years. Your ex's track record on stability is shaky at best. It's not so difficult to envision a scenario where you become a much more present part of your kids lives at some point.


Should that happen, they need to find that their Dad has continued to grow and strengthen. They need to have that rock in their life who has dealt with the wrongs, the pains, and the inequities, and has reached a point of peace in his life.


The "invincible summer." Remember that Frank?


Find it.


Blessings,

Bill