Lost, confused and fighting for my marriage

[Hopeful728]

Thanks. I understand that going to a workshop is a long shot, but I'm still not ready to give up on our marriage. I can not sign divorce papers knowing there was something else out there that I could have tried. I have to know that I did everything I could. Maybe it's stupid and maybe I'm just in denial...but I feel this is something I have to do. I've explained that to my H and he is still willing to go- even after the D bomb. I found a workshop that we will attend at the end of June and we'll go from there.

In the meantime, I still plan on meeting with a divorce attorney and preparing myself in case this workshop doesn't make a difference.

I think this whole thing would be easier if my H wasn't giving so many mixed messages. On Tuesday he said he was done and on Thursday he came over to change my brakes and oil on my car. Then he came back later to fix the TV for me...all without me asking. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I would think if he was completly done and had no feelings for me-as he claims- he wouldn't still be doing those type of things. Who knows? I feel like everything with him has been one big question mark that keeps me turning in circles.

[NNP1965]

Nothing about it is stupid... and I understand completely what you are saying... I said the EXACT same things myself.

I truly hope the workshop goes well. I really do, but unless this is something your H is pursuing he will not really hear a word that is said. Or he will twist what is said into something else totally and use it to justify what he is doing.

Every thing with him is a big question... because he has NO IDEA what he is doing. He is coming over to do those things to get a taste of "normal". He gets it and can leave and go about his merry way. If he was not getting it he may have to look at himself.

I know you have to do what you think is best... absolutely! We have all been there... We all have to make our own mistakes. If we could learn from those who have gone before us things would be so much easier, but that is just not how were are programmed.

None of what he is doing has ANYTHING to do with you... it is all about him.