W still wants separation, need to DB more

[Puppy Dog Tails]

As someone pointed out upthread, it's more like a father-daughter relationship than it is a husband-wife one.

I found it strange too.

Puppy

[Steve McQueen]

today was kinda a big deal

Buffalo to Obama: "I Need a Freakin' Job"
Western N.Y. Media Campaign Puts Focus on Unemployment as President Visits Region to Discuss the Economy

They closed the highways down so the president could have chicken wings.

What i am curious about officer is how long the two of you have been working these crazy shifts?

The shift I am on now worked out great for us.

A question to ask yourself, does it lead to a productive sex life?

[gucci loafer]

It just seems to me that OIN doesn't even realize how much he hovers over his wife. He knows where she is ever second of the day. I think if someone like me can see this dynamic, then how must SHE feel having to live like that?

I think she KNOWS he is watching every move she is making. That includes the most recent snooping regarding her phone logs, emails, history on her computer, spies at her work etc. etc..

I believe she doesn't trust him one iota not to be snooping and even expects and knows he is still doing it.

[Steve McQueen]

I believe she doesn't trust him one iota not to be snooping and even expects and knows he is still doing it.

yep. She must feel like she is owned. or a prisoner like Luke.

[OfficerInNeed]

What i am curious about officer is how long the two of you have been working these crazy shifts?

Quote:
The shift I am on now worked out great for us.


A question to ask yourself, does it lead to a productive sex life?

We use to have a very productive sex life. Ever since she dropped the ILYBNILWY bomb we have not had any sexual contact (01/24/10). And since mid February she stopped almost all physical contact (hugs, kisses, ect). And since the start of Mark W tries her best to ensue I do not see her anyway other than being fully cloth. Keep in mind I made W feel insecure about herself for sometime even though I was also complimentary often as well. Also W did say before that she thinks when we had sex that was the only time I was nice to her.

It just seems to me that OIN doesn't even realize how much he hovers over his wife. He knows where she is ever second of the day. I think if someone like me can see this dynamic, then how must SHE feel having to live like that?

I admit, yes we had an unhealthy relationship at times where I had become controlling.

These text messages are something she just does. We both use to do it, to let each other we made to our destinations safely. I stopped doing it but she continues. Not like she use to but as I posted above that is the common script. "Left", "here","leaving"

Should I tell her that she does not have to text me anymore? How can I say to her that if she feels like she HAS TO text me, that she should not?

I want a healthy R between us, How do I accomplish this?

My W is going to think I have someone watching even if I did not have someone watching. Yes, I have snooped because I suspect something was up. W started to act like she did last time her and OM were involved...

[DaddyLongShanks]

What i am curious about officer is how long the two of you have been working these crazy shifts?

Quote:
The shift I am on now worked out great for us.

A question to ask yourself, does it lead to a productive sex life?

We use to have a very productive sex life. Ever since she dropped the ILYBNILWY bomb we have not had any sexual contact (01/24/10). And since mid February she stopped almost all physical contact (hugs, kisses, ect). And since the start of Mark W tries her best to ensue I do not see her anyway other than being fully cloth. Keep in mind I made W feel insecure about herself for sometime even though I was also complimentary often as well. Also W did say before that she thinks when we had sex that was the only time I was nice to her.

It sounds like you are moving backwards as far as the physical intimacy goes. I wonder how these W get this in their head, in thinking that all we see them for sex. Sometimes I wonder if an OM or someone who is trying to wedge into the relationship planted this seed. In alot of cases where people who purposely plant seeds that cause pain and division, there is a pleasure aspect for the "seed planter" if they know they got through. Imagine if you will there may be a third party still. Or imagine if you will, that somehow your wife is deriving pleasure out of "keeping you out"? How the hell can we counter that?

It just seems to me that OIN doesn't even realize how much he hovers over his wife. He knows where she is ever second of the day. I think if someone like me can see this dynamic, then how must SHE feel having to live like that?

I admit, yes we had an unhealthy relationship at times where I had become controlling.

My advice here was to be gone, be at home for 1hr to 2hrs tops, but outside and busy doing things for the rest of the time.

These text messages are something she just does. We both use to do it, to let each other we made to our destinations safely. I stopped doing it but she continues. Not like she use to but as I posted above that is the common script. "Left", "here","leaving"

Should I tell her that she does not have to text me anymore? How can I say to her that if she feels like she HAS TO text me, that she should not?

I want a healthy R between us, How do I accomplish this?

I think for now you showed you want a committment down to the microsecond level. You have to give her a chance to be attracted to you. You can't do that being around her too much. Find some things outside the house you like to do for yourself.

My W is going to think I have someone watching even if I did not have someone watching. Yes, I have snooped because I suspect something was up. W started to act like she did last time her and OM were involved...

[OfficerInNeed]

This just seems a bit much. How long has this gone on between you two? She tells you when she leaves for work, when she gets there, when she goes to lunch, when she leaves work, what route she is taking, when she gets home?

You do realize that isn't normal don't you?
Remember that movie. Luke was being OBEDIENT, but secretly inside was wanting to escape their clutches but he learned to let them believe he would just do what they wanted. I would bet she feels smothered by having to do this but feel obligated and doesn't want to start a fight. Especially in her present mindset. This doesn't make sense.

This has gone on for years, for about 6 years now. It was reciprocal. Each of us would text one another before we left or when we arrived somewhere to let the other know we made it to our destination safely. Before my W would include many affectionate words in her text.

Lets say for instance I was going somewhere. I got to my destination and did not tell my W I was there and just carried on with my business, W would send a text "Everything OK? you make it there OK?"

I know this all seems obsessive and "not normal" but at the time, it was our normal.

You may very well be right about her feeling obligated or that it has become routine that she just does it. Most of the time is it same txt in the message which I believe is here just being obedient to a habit.

I do break this cycle and make it a choice for her rather than her feel like she has to do it?

I start to feel as if our R can never be salvaged. I know it will never be what it was (and I dont want it to be). I want it to be healthy but seems like this mountain is unclimbable...