Possible EA - sitting on the edge

[BWP]

Puppy you were right about that email to W lawyer. She forwarded it to FIL to confirm if W was returning?

At least I know not to bother to ask FIL/MIL to support M.

[BWP]

I don't want to write a super long post but I do want to update on some things.

W came back from Vegas and I could tell she was boiling over. I kept cool and happy..even thanked her for the gift. Once D was in bed the anger started coming. I stayed calm and validated and listened. That night we got nowhere so I left the room and went to bed.

The next morning I'm up early working out and I start getting D ready. W is still not happy at all. Pressing me on the L letter and I keep saying - you know where I stand etc.

Last night - It starts again, I validate and listen but when pressed on intel gathering I stick with 'anything I've done is to protect my family'. Then W starts to change in tone and demeanor. She's owning the sh*t about her 'friend', shouldn't be a secret, shouldn't have shared information about our M etc. Then she asks what do we do about the laywers.

At this point, I said your decision. I will do what I need to do to protect myself. W then agrees to FT together and gets the referral she got from her IC to setup appointment.

Now this could all change - very new and I need to see follow through on the NC with OM (which W agreed to and said, 'I don't care if I ever talk to OM again') and I don't call off the L unless W does and proves it.

Just an update and a thank you for making me stick to my guns - even if I messed up a few times.

I have no illusions here. Words are just words but we'll see what actions follow.

There is a lot more but I can't remember everything.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

There is a lot more but I can't remember everything.

I know it's hard to remember, but can you give us some more detail? Especially about how the convo went on this part:

Once D was in bed the anger started coming. I stayed calm and validated and listened. That night we got nowhere so I left the room and went to bed.

What is it, specifically, that was said?

Puppy

[BWP]

I'll try Puppy - My W was going into her script the first night about how she didn't love me, wasn't happy in our M and that she felt trapped like she had no where to go.

This was where I did what I could to validate and listen. It didn't stay in this frame which is when I excused myself and went to bed. She started to talk about how I was controlling her about OM and if I knew what they talked about I'd laugh. Insisting nothing was going on. That is what changed during the following conversation the next day.

This thing is far from over though. Friday my W emailed me that she found my book and call off the FT. I don't even know which book?

Anyway, I wrote back 'happy to discuss but I'll cancel for now'. This created a pretty chill environment but I kept on GAL Friday night - watched a movie I rented. W then was very angry and came down stairs and said something like 'I don't like the new (name -me).' I just said 'you'd didn't like the old me much obviously'

Here we are today and W is telling me all about a new book she's reading on happiness. It seemed a good book so I said 'that's great'. Then we had a pretty normal day (so far).

I know there is a lot of work still and I'm still ensuring I gather whatever intel I can.

I left W to re-schedule FT appointment.

[BWP]

Just a quick update.

As of now no contact with OM (that I know of). Still tough to be sure W shows me cell and nothing on computer but when I'm not around who knows.

W booked FT appointment again for this coming week.

[BWP]

Still in a sort of limbo, things are civil but not moving forward. W asks me constantly 'what's wrong' 'are you okay'. I'm fine and just tell her I'm happy or I'm good but what is this about?

Sometimes I want to say 'I'm surprisingly fine considering the hell you put me through' but that doesn't seem like a wise move.

W is filling me in on whereabouts so it seems at least she's trying?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Could be things are on the outs with OM, and she's trying to make sure she still has her Plan B "plate" (um, that would be you) spinning on her little stick.

Stay upbeat and mysterious!

Puppy

[BWP]

Got it Puppy! Upbeat and mysterious, I can handle that.

Also, W has backed off on lawyer for now, making her take the steps on legal matters while knowing my rights and having my own lawyer seems to have had an impact.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

PERFECT!!

[BWP]

First FT appt tonight booked by W, depending on the outcome I might need some input here.

Still upbeat and mysterious.