Cause for alarm?

[OfficerInNeed]

If my W questions about the deleted messages do I come out and tell her "yes" and why or?

I was thinking of saying if she brought it up and I came clean...."I did, those messages reflect a time when I was not thinking clearly and had a horrible outlook on marriage and life in general."

Her holding those messages would be the same if I held on to messages when she told me ILY during a time when she was happy...would not be right or fair for me to throw those in her face and I don't think it is for her to do the same with messages that no longer hold meaning (never did).

I think a phone call may be in order. As you said, just to see how things are going on that end and maybe fill her in on what my W has been doing...