I have been thinking about the same thing in dealing with my XW. Before I felt the need to have to answer or prove her wrong, than I went thru a short(thankfully) phase of sink to her level and answer a nasty comment with one of my one thing.
Now---I just ignore it entirely. I think you would drive your XW up a wall if you just answered her 2 questions and ended the e-mail. What do you care about what she thinks anymore? Also her comment about re-assuring or re-affirming her decision every time leads me to believe that she still has not reflected entirely on the marriage.
One day she will, so continue to practice going dark both for her and your sake. Less is more with these crazy aliens I think!
H: 30 W: 31 S: 2 T/M: 6/4 D Final 4-5-10
Bomb: June 09 Status: D'd and moving onward and upward?
My take? She is obviously feeling some guilt, and anger that you are doing so well, so she needs to once again place the blame squarely on your shoulders.
Bravo for not sinking down to her level, and sticking up for yourself in a classy and eloquent manner!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Nice to know you're still lying to me when it suits you. Reaffirms my decision every time. - Gardener's X
She's saying things based on what she wants them to be, instead of what they are. She's still trying to continually convince herself that what she did was right...regardless of how wrong it was. She lies to herself in order to assuage her own guilt.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Nice to know you're still lying to me when it suits you. Reaffirms my decision every time. - Gardener's X
She's saying things based on what she wants them to be, instead of what they are. She's still trying to continually convince herself that what she did was right...regardless of how wrong it was. She lies to herself in order to assuage her own guilt.
Bingo, my friend. Spot on. Thanks.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Romeo, Buffet, Bunny, LolaL, Kerry, antlers, Thank you all. All good ideas and much-appreciated kudos. At this stage, I more often think it's time to resist the 48-hour rule and the run-it-by-here-first strategy and just go with it.
I got a renter for upstairs Master Bedroom Suite Monday. Confirmed yesterday. Told her today. She was all sweetness and nice. Said "I'm glad you changed your mind about renting. This will make it easier for you." I answered "I changed my mind when you backed off about wanting a portion of the rent $ even though you contribute no $ to house." (I pulled the ad and said, diplomatically, "eff you. I'll stay and struggle rather than give you a dime of the rent $"). There was one agreement we had to make about the rental, though. I agreed and said a verbal agreement is fine by me. She responded she wanted it in writing, signed, and notarized.
I said, "Fine." Not even worth further comment.
Renter - from- NC took a job at a small corp 1/2 mile from here. Is selling house in NC. Wife loved our house "Virtual Tour" on Brokers' website, might be interested in discussing purchasing. Renter came tonight to sign agreement. Apparently hates the job, not sure what to do, was going back to motel to call the wife. Didn't sign. (sigh).
Meanwhile, Broker says lowering price $38k should do the trick (!?!?). This is the SAME price that an agent gave us in AUGUST(!) in order to sell fast. Back then, broker said, "Wrong. I can get you $58k more," so we went with him.
X & I lowered it $20k in Feb. Now another $38k? To the first agent's (obviously) spot-on price back in August?!? I know market is bad and fluctuating but I'm beginning to think Broker "blew smoke" to get the listing.
Yeah, I know I'm really rambling now. Not sure what to do. But I really want to get out from under this $ hemorrhaging memory-laden, last-vestige-of-M (and connection to X) and GO!
Having a yard/tag/garage sale Sat and Sunday. Gonna try to get rid of damn-near everything! Including every picture, photo, gift, knick-knack X ever gave me. The sitch memory will be bad enough. Don't need - or want - any physical, tangible reminders of it or her.
There. I'm done now (I think). Feel better.
If X agrees, I'll just take my half of the $38k hit and dump this place (which I once- and still in many ways do - love so much). But it's been bleeding me and exhausting me for eighteen months now. Enough, already.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Whew. Just reading that has me out of breath!!! I hope you feel better now!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Whew. Just reading that has me out of breath!!! I hope you feel better now!!!
Always feelbetter after letting off some always-verbose steam!
Renter just called. Is taking it Monday.
I'm not going to even mention to X the back-and-forth $ emailing I've been doing with Broker. Too much to even process right now, let alone explain. Too much else to do.
And, by the way,you never answered my question:
Lola - The Rockette S'upwitdat?
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
