V1olin's new life without wife

[ClingingToHope]

After my second mediation session my STBXW said "sorry, I know this isn't what you want." I just looked at her and kept walking and she said again "I'm sorry." And I kept walking.

The longer I'm away and the more I read the Susan Anderson book "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" the more I see my desperate efforts to hold on to her despite the fact I was getting ZERO out of the relationship other than being able to put my daughters to sleep every night was fear of abandonment that goes back to childhood.

So I'm better every day, but I'm still likely to never say "I forgive you." I don't plan and am trying not to carry around anger, but I'm not going to give her an emotional pass either. There were so many more things we could have done to turn things around and she chose to do none of them.