I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

a workbook? OMG, am I supposed to say "I'm beautiful and Wonderful and Everyone Loves Me" 3 times in the mirror? lol sorry.. I am in a silly mood today.

To update: We have been very busy over the TimeHealsAll home. MIL is still here and she has put H up to doing alot of things around the house. Between that, sports, holidays and parties.. it's been a little crazy.. We are exhausted. We have cuddled and such but it isn't long before one of us is past out.

I'm hoping we can spend some "quality" time this evening. although it's a little tough with MIL there.. know what I mean?

[FindingMyVoice]

Hahaha! I SO know what you mean! No, thank heavens - affirmations and I aren't on real good terms so I never buy a book that suggests I do them! The exercises I've done so far are more like listing when you have a thought distortion, and then figuring out why you're using it. I found it interesting that the premise is that you're using them for a reason - to either protect you from perceived present or future pain, or to try to get you to take action for something positive. You do though, have to do a 'strengths and weaknesses self-assessment' which although I didn't want to do it first, I can see how it's very helpful in conjunction with the distortions exercises.

Glad to hear you're having a positive visit with your MIL (notwithstanding the interruption in your 'quality time) teehee!

[timehealsall]

MIL and I had a rocky relationship before. This whole ordeal has made us closer. crazy how life works. I think she for once realizes how much I love her son..

I know... I needs me some "quality"girl! lol

hugs to you! Have a great night.

[RedHeadWife]

Don't feel badly, girls, sounds just like me too!

[timehealsall]

I need my friends today..

So, on my way home yesterday, I receive an email from some bogus account that said that my husband is having an affair, with who (the OW's name) and that she's pregnant and it may even be his. That he walks around their country holding hands like a happy family and that he is a big effin liar and loser.

I told H about it and we wrote it off to the fact that we thought/think it's the guys that used to work for him that had been stealing from him and are now peeved because H screwed them over.

I asked H last night that I needed to know if he had any contact with her whatsoever and he said no. (is it sad I dont' know whether or not to believe?)

We had a good night. had S and all that.

Today, things are great. called me and everything was great.

I get an email from OW stating that H had called her to accuse her of sending me that email and that she didn't and wants to be left alone and that she is pregnant and it may be his but that it's none of his business. and that she wants to be left alone and no more emails or calls please.

So I questioned H and he called me and said yes, he did because he was upset that people are talking sh!t about him and that he is here trying to fix things and they are trying to ruin everything. so I told him to just leave it alone, ignore them, it'll die down. don't give them that satisfaction.

So then I say, listen, you're home working on things, right? he said yes, I said you want to be with me right? he said, I'm trying, I still have my issues.. I said that's not what I ask. i asked you want to be with me and he repeated what he said.. then I said, yes or no and he couldn't/wouldn't answer.

I told him that being that he couldn't answer to just forget it. what's the point. I am so sad and angry. He could get himself so worked up that she could get a phone call but he can't give me a straight answer whether or not he wants to be with me?

help me.

[timehealsall]

now he text me and is accusing me of sending that email yesterday.

i cannot believe this.

[FindingMyVoice]

Ooohhhh Time, sweetie I'm so sorry to hear of this. Hugs to you... tell me more.

Did he expand on 'he still has issues?' What issues? If he's got issues, make him spell them out. Might he be just throwing that out there to distract you from the original point of conflict, and keep from having to answer to the phone call to OW?

And how did he react to you saying that if he couldn't answer, to forget it?

[FindingMyVoice]

now he text me and is accusing me of sending that email yesterday.

i cannot believe this.

Again, this sounds like a counter-attack - your assertiveness in asking him point-blank if he wants to be with you or not is rattling him... he's finger-pointing to get you to drop the subject and instead, get caught up in defending yourself. Been there too many times to count. Hang in there Time, be strong - don't feel like you have to defend or explain. You've done NOTHING wrong. Stay present with your original feelings and thoughts...

[timehealsall]

He wants out and doesn't want to be with me anymore. text me to say he is done with her and me.. that I am playing games with him and that I sent the email. I just cannot believe this. He said he is moving out.

i cannot believe this. in utter shock right now.. numb..

his issues are his anger/resentment/trust issues with me. he is afraid i'll hurt him again...

I know why he called OW.. he thinks she sent that email... but wtf is he calling her?!?!? i told him to ignore it. we thought it was those guys but obviously he thought it was her.. she'd done this before in the past.

I'm leaving work now.

[timehealsall]

now he is texting me saying he did nothing wrong.

am i overreacting? be honest with me please.