Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Well I received my first paycheck today, and I bought S a bed. He had been sleeping on a futon, and he wanted his own bed, so I bought a nice used bed that he is so happy about. I am so glad. It is in very good condition. I did not have money to buy a new bed for him yet. I hope to be starting a new job too that is a permanent part-time job with a very good company. It could go permanent full-time if I do a good job.

Also there is another company that is very interested in me for another full-time position. I hope to interview with them in the next week or so. Things are looking up for me. I probably will not even have to interview for the part-time position because my resume says it all. Also, I am working to see if the company will pay a higher rate of pay.

I am having some success since I quit listening to W. Now I am doing it my way and for me and the kids. These are all potential opportunities. I do like that I am taking the initiative to follow my instincts and do what is right for me. It is a feeling that I have not had in awhile and want to have over and over.

Nothing is for sure until I am hired, but at least I feel that I am doing the right things to correct the position I (only me) allowed to happen to me. It is kind of a boost to me to show I can do it.

I am not worried what she thinks or does not think. This is partially what put me in the position I am in.

It has been great to work the temporary positon I have, and I will be happy to have any job right now. I liked having my own money. I need to rebuild myself and my resume to achieve the goals I have set for myself and my future.

[LSG]

W seems a little nicer these days. She said "bye" real nice today. She did like the bed I bought for S and took pictures. She is still having the A I am sure, but her attitude has been gradually changing towards me this week.

I have no expectations. I do continue to have expectations for myself. I am meeting them more and more. I have to continue to do what is best for me, the kids, and ultimately my family. I feel like a single dad so much these days.

A woman asked me at the store if I was single or separated today. She said that she always sees me with the kids and never with my wife. It was strange to have her ask that. I answered that I was married, but I did not have a very good W. I don't why I said that. The question made me a little nervous for some reason.

I am excited about another good day.

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

You shouldn't be nervous, wife should. The lady may have been giving you good attention and checking you out, just to see if you are "available".

[LSG]

These days I kind of feel sorry for WAW. She seem so lonely and sad. I should not feel bad for her, but I do. I would not want to be her these days.

[idontunderstand]

It sounds like you are getting into the flow of life again. It does wonders for the soul.

I am having some success since I quit listening to W. Now I am doing it my way and for me and the kids. These are all potential opportunities. I do like that I am taking the initiative to follow my instincts and do what is right for me. It is a feeling that I have not had in awhile and want to have over and over.

Fantastic!

Congrats on the job. Temporary or not, a job is a job. Especially in these crappy times. Set and strive for your goals, be a great dad and you won't have time to worry about what your W thinks.

I am not worried what she thinks or does not think. This is partially what put me in the position I am in.

I could have wrote this myself. We are finally in the position to realize that the only person that can make us feel alive is ourselves. It sucks that it takes something like this, but we are better people because of it. We learn from our mistakes and we don't repeat them. Well, I repeated many mistakes, I just meant that I finally learned from them.

Keep looking and moving forward and never go back to the way things were!

[Onthemountaintop]

These days I kind of feel sorry for WAW. She seem so lonely and sad. I should not feel bad for her, but I do. I would not want to be her these days.

If she finds you in these days, and you are in full 180 mode with a ready-to-forgive attitude, she may also find that missing spark that could blossom into a happier marriage.

God knows best.

[LSG]

Well this is the first time that wife will being paying the bills since she quit putting all her pay in our joint account. I wish her well. We have a pile of bills that have to be paid, and she has no clue what needs to be done and how. I hope she does not screw it up. I guess I will find out soon.

I hate this sitch of mine!

[LSG]

I appreciate the optimism, and the kind words. I really do not think that is going to be happening with her. She is so far gone, and I will just let her self destruct in so many ways. It is just a matter of time before she finds out that she is so unprepared to do what she says.

[LSG]

idontunderstand,

I have been reading your thread, and you are doing a great job. I am very impressed.

I am getting into flow of life again, but I truly have a long ways to go.

I doing my best on the job front, and I make sure I take good care of the kiddies, and I like you do not mind at all.

You could have wrote what I did, but the differences is that you are taking action.

I applaud you so much for the progress you are making!!!

I don't plan to go back to the ways things are, but I sure need to do a lot more to move forward. I have not done more with my job situation and the kids. I will not lose them if I do divorce, so I have to live in a situation that I truly hate!!! I have to do what is necessary to protect them and myself if I can.

[LSG]

DLS,

I wish WAW was nervous about something about losing me, but it does not seem that she is. I am just nervous because I am in no way ready for another relationship and any attention from women right now. I just could not stomach more than I barely am right now.

It is a horrible situation for me or anyone.

I do the best I can to DB.