Pup, I understand that you do not have a diagnosis, but what do you think of OP's suggestive actions I should take. Just looking for your opinion, no diagnosis. I know you are not a doctor and I don't even know if you stayed at a holiday Inn express last night.
Burt
I guess you have to determine first if you think this is her issue. If it is, I've read ZERO books on the subject, so I would defer to her greater judgment.
She just called and says she just got out of a massage, says she feels great. Going home to exchange the bracelet I got her from the boys on Mother's Day. Her wrists are smaller than I thought, lol.
Going in with true giving, backing off from the sex for now, although will be hard alone in that hotel tomorrow.
Puppy I hope that on your 15,000 post that you made a typo
OP, my sincere apologies!!!!
For some reason, I was thinking of Oldtimer when I posted that (who -- paradoxically -- is a woman, who several folks [including me] mistook for a man).
For some reason, I was thinking of Oldtimer when I posted that (who -- paradoxically -- is a woman, who several folks [including me] mistook for a man).
I have already thought of lack of progesterone as she has been on the pill for years to regulate her irregular cycles. And I have already tried to suggest that maybe she has an imbalance of hormones. But, she does not agree.
This is probably it. It's not a lack of progesterone but a lack of testosterone. I was on the pill for over a decade and it can indeed kill your testosterone levels. When I went off the pill I definitely noticed an increase in desire (which totally sucked because it was in the middle of BF's A and I was not getting or giving any). Now that I have an IUD with hormones I noticed that the desire level has gone way back down again.
The only way to know for sure is if she has her hormone levels checked by a doctor. It certainly never occured to me that something was wrong because it was the only way I remembered being with BF once the initial falling in love phase had passed.
You can't make her go to the doctor. You can tell her that it is a dealbreaker for you and that if things don't improve in that area then you will both be better off finding someone who fulfills your respective needs.
When my BF dropped the bomb, our dismal sex life was one of the things he complained about. I immediately started reading SSM and went to the doctor to get checked out because saving the R was important to me. If your W does not check out every avenue then I think that's telling.
BTW, the pill affecting a woman's sex drive is becoming much more publicized these days so you should be able to find articles about it. My local news just did a story on it earlier this week.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
It is hormonal. A lack of testosterone. But I am not a doctor.
PH, I agree as stated a few pages ago. For the record, in menopause testosterone levels in women normally increase and mens normally decrease, which is why you see many wacky things on these boards.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbor
You can tell her that it is a dealbreaker for you and that if things don't improve in that area then you will both be better off finding someone who fulfills your respective needs.
This is unacceptable to me. I would never do that.
Understand that in male menopause, testosterone normally starts to decrease at age 20-70 in very small increments. Also the killer on all this is the RATE of change. In women it is much more sudden than in men.
Also while I am at it, men's estrogen level increases as their testosterone decreases. So men become more like women and vice versa the older we get.
Women and men have a lot of problems admitting that they are going thru the change.
Again as stated above our primary sex organ is the brain. So much of this can be overcome with the proper attitudes.
