I can SOOO relate to that moment when it HITS you that the internal diaglogue (in my case full of worries and anxieties, and worst case scenarios) is quiet....(at least temorarily, and then seriously muted thereafter for the most part)
My first thought was "So this is what normal people feel like!"...but then who, exactly is "normal"?
Don't you dare apologize for feeling better and DOING stuff rather than bbing!!!
I can also relate to the whole groceries/cooking scenario. Had NO idea CJ liked to shop, plan, cook as much as he does. Like you I'd just ASSumed it was MY job...and was so irritable, perfectionistic etc. that I pretty much squelched his culinary self-esteem.
When I let go of THAT rope, all KINDS of great things started to happen...wait a second....maybe I can blame these 20 pounds on HIM???
It's really great that you were able to talk about the financial stuff, and the job situation, even just a little bit! It's often a very difficult subject to broach, and I think you did an excellent job of starting to clear the air about this! I have a feeling that future talks surrounding this subject will feel much "safer" for the both of you!
All the "little stuff" you can do together can really add up to a lot!! The times that my wife and I share together in the kitchen cooking have been a great chance to spend some quality time together, and was one thing that she mentioned that meant a lot to her.
Keep up the great work, my dear, and keep looking for those "quality moments" to spend together!! They really DO add up!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
kitti, Am wondering about sending this email to H:
I hope you are having a good Monday morning! Sorry about the football team...
The car started this morning! Hopefully it will KEEP starting and it was just the battery. It seems to drain batteries! I know my friend's was the same way.
Has your sister made any further plans? Is she going skiing or staying home?
Just wanted you to know that you, of course, are invited to my sister's house (about 5 hours away). My younger brother is coming in from Florida with his family, and of course my older brother and his family will be there. I am not sure if my nephew's fiance, will be there or not. I think she was coming, but I am not sure if those plans have changed. If we go there we will leave on Wednesday.
I hope you have a great day!
me
Pressuring? What do you think? (Yes, I am needy...)
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
pam - keep it up darlin, you have been doing SO WELL!!! you are an absolute inspiration to me how much you have come in so short a time!!!! yes, our little hen party yesterday morning was a blast eh? oh us women would be dangerous if we ever got together
shiny - by all means, blame the 20 pounds on him, after all the blaming they have done to us???? LOL - thanks for the understanding on the inner dialog thing, i had forgotten how good it feels not to worry about things
jamesjohn - oh my, i am in SHOCK!!! the legendary jj visited my thread (just kidding jj, i really do admire you) - the little things do mean alot i am beginning to realize more than ever. check out my positives for this weekend coming up.
holdingon - got you in your thread
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POSITIVES
1) hubby asked me if i wanted any breakfast saturday morning, usual answer is, nah, that's ok, i can do it, but i said, hey, whatcha fixin? he said, i don't know, an omelet or something, and then i said, just surprise me! and he came back with this LUSCIOUS omelet that i couldn't stop going ga ga over all morning. i think he really enjoyed doing that for me (just drop the rope kitti)
2) wasn't feeling too well yesterday so was in bed alot of the day, hubby came in to check on me what seemed like every half hour or so, that is just so unlike him - whenever i don't feel well he usually just leaves me alone, but he kept asking me if there was anything i need
3) wasn't interested in watching the race yesterday, but he did in another room and he had to keep coming in to where i was to keep giving me updates (it was so cute)
things are still in limbo, but where would i be if i wasn't doing this and living here? that keeps me here, cause the alternative is not acceptable
Quote: things are still in limbo, but where would i be if i wasn't doing this and living here? that keeps me here, cause the alternative is not acceptable
I know what you mean. I think you are a bit on the other side of limbo, though. That seemed like a wonderful act of service, the omelet... lots of love, there.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
KK, I'd say those were some pretty dang good positives (from 11/17). AND YOU did a great job of accepting his offer to make you breakfast. I think he probably really loved doing that "act of service" for you and the PROOF of that was in his 'nuturing' you all day by coming in to check on you and see if you needed anything. Those were ALL great postives on his part and yours. Keep up the great work!! T2
