Tristan, Have you read "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman? He talks about "learned helplessness" and how to overcome it.
Cheers
Hi Coach,
Wanted to thank you for this. I haven't made it too far through yet; but did make it through the "Learned Helplessness" chapter. So now I understand why I feel helpless when she is depressed. Now I am interested in finding out how the book suggests I overcome it. It has been difficult to find time to read with preparing for the move and all. But it is the book I reach for when I do find the time.
I saw what you did over on James thread. You are doing God's work. This world is a better place because of you.
Prayers to you too, -T
T ~
Very humbling my friend...That sentence is very powerful and makes me proud of every decision I have made thus far...Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Figured I would catch people up on me. The move is moving along at seemingly blazing speed. W resigned this past Friday. It is the first that she has been without a job since she started college. Her an I are both curious to see how much she enjoys it. She plans to not enter back into the workforce until D6 starts 1st grade next fall.
We must be out of the house by Monday. This is stressing me out as there is a ton of things that need to be done before then. Today, I asked W "How she was doing?"
W: "Why does everybody keep asking me that? Are they afraid that I won't be able to handle myself?" M: "No. It was just a question to help myself calm down." W: "Why? Are you anxious?" M: "Yes. A little." W: "Why, what from?" M: "Oh, I don't know. That's the thing about anxiety, you don't exactly know from where it is coming, right?" W: "Well you should have some idea." M: "I don't know. When I think of us, my job, the girls; it is all good. But when I think of where we were a year ago and think about this move to TX. I mean this is a huge commitment between us." W: "Yes. So what are your fears?" M: "I guess that one would be that you aren't doing this because you love me, but rather for the girls and the family." W: "You don't think I love you?" M: "You didn't ask me what I thought. You asked me what are my fears. I do think you love me. There is a difference." W: "Have I done anything to make you feel that way." M: "No, you have been great since we have been back together. It just takes time." W: "Listen, I love you. When the girls are grown up, all we will have is each other. I know that. Are you doing all this for the girls?" M: "No. I am doing it because I love you. I wouldn't be making this move if it was only for the girls. I am making this move because I think it will be best for us." W: "I feel safe with you. You are like my security blanket. I only wish you felt safe with me. I know I pulled the blanket and rug out from under you and understand why you feel this way. But I hope you can feel safe with me sometime again."
We spent the day in the city that we will call home today. It will be very different from what I am used too. But it was a very pleasant day. I am really starting to look forward to this new life. And am so grateful to be sharing it with my W.
Serenity, He has blessed us. My W says he has been watching over us as things have just seemed to fall into place. Just when we have no idea what to do, someone or something shows up to help us move on.
I often wonder why he has been so good to us; we certainly don't deserve it anymore than the next guy; but he has.
i would write more, but it is too difficult on this phone. i don't know how rob does it.
