What to do when their friends suggest leaving?

[Bummedout]

Does holding all of these "positions" work for you?

Ask yourself this: if you had this same problem on your last thread, and then again this time, and you're having it with just about everyone, and you're also having it in your marital relationships . . .

. . . is it possible that maybe it's YOU?

No, that isn't possible. My Wife doesn't generally give me advice when I'm not looking for it. And if I do ask for advice, say, on how long to nuke a potato in the microwave, she doesn't demand to know everything else I'm cooking for dinner, what I cooked yesterday, how I cooked it, and what ingredients she used. And . . .if she did ask what else I was cooking, if I didn't know yet, she wouldn't deride belittle tell me what a terrible cook I am, and such like that. So, I'd have no reason to give her a hard time about giving me a hard time.

You don't have to "subordinate," Bummed.

I know that. The trouble is, Coach, Rob, possibly yourself and a few others don't seem to feel that way. I didn't want to answer the questions. I made that clear. I didn't want to "share" everything just yet. But hey, that wasn't what people here wanted. So . . .I wouldn't allow myself to be subordinated . . . . and that bugs the crap out of some here.

Hell, you don't really HAVE to do ANYTHING.

I'm aware of that too.

But it would help you to drop the attitude, and stop trying to dictate to everyone else in your life how they are allowed to react with you.

Actually, what be even more helpful is if the idiots here making demands and character assessments they are neither qualified, nor entitled to make would drop their attitudes. Yes, that would be most helpful.

Just a thought. Personally, I'm going to go help out some other folks who are actually WANTING some help and advice, and who appreciate it.

That would be an excellent idea. maybe you should pass it on to some of the other members. I never wanted it. I wanted to hear about others experiences with what they've tried to mitigate the damage that can be caused by misguided friends who want to help. Oddly enough, this is kinda what happened in my threads. Ya'll were misguided, period. I didn't want it, didn't ask for it, and made it pretty clear, well over a dozen times. Heck, probably two dozen. I don't remember asking you if you felt "it might be me" that was the problem with my relationship, or if you thought I might be "controlling" etc.

Frankly, ya'll are amazingly rude, judgmental, and cliquish, and to a level I haven't even remotely approached. My only "sin" is giving back as good as I undeservedly received . . .simply because I didn't want to "play along" just yet, I didn't want to "lay it all out there" when some of you demanded it. When a stranger makes a "demand" of me . . .it's usually met with "Kiss my ass". This is also one reason I don't make demands of strangers, other than demanding they stop making demands of me. This is really kinda humorous at this point.

Board Gurus: "This guy isn't cow-toeing to us! What do we do? We're confused! Most people are hurt and desperate enough by the time they get here that they easily grovel for our supreme wisdom! What do we do" . . . .Lets GET HIM! GRRRRR!"

It's really quite pathetic guys . . .and gal or two.