wow! what does a gal have to do to stay on page one these days????
had a wonderful conversation with t2, deb, and cathy during the day today. i tell you, fellow db'rs are da best!!!
do you ever notice that when you off helping other people you actually get insight on your own sitch? well, it happened to me today. i am so glad for this board
alaskangal - thanks darlin, you sure have been a lifesaver - your posts to others during the last few days have been more than profound. i especially enjoyed the 12 step db program - awesome stuff
shiny - no, in fact, i am allergic to cats. there is a chance my hubby might know about this board so i am just protecting my interests! LOL - thanks for stopping by
pam - hello there sunshine, sounds like things are getting way better for you!!! congrats on the progress!!!
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just wanted to share with the board, that i am officially on ad's - paxil - i have been on them for 12 days and already i am feeling much better.
for the first time in almost 5 years starting 4 nights ago i am getting a full night's sleep. my usual nights for the past 5 years has been fall asleep around 9 - 10 - get up at around 1 and not be able to go back to sleep until maybe 5, and then i have to get up at 6:30 for the boys to go to school
it's also working on my detaching ability, it's actually functioning as a "i don't care" attitude, which let me tell you is a whole lot better than what i had been having
i am thoroughly pleased with the progress. this is the first time i have used anything to control stress. i grew up with a mom who said "you don't have TIME or the LUXURY to be depressed, snap out of it" - so i have bucked taking drugs for a long time
now i wonder what took me so long to get on this
kitti - who is feeling good and fine
POSITIVES
1) hubby called about 7 times today
2) i got TWO hugs today when he left
3) gave him loads of "words of affirmation" today, cause i am slowly figuring out this is his LL - i wrote him an email last night and he talked about it last night before i went to sleep (i wrote him commending him on the latest cd he has put together telling him that i really felt he was exposing his soul on this one) - he was very pleased to say the least that i enjoyed it and took the time to let him know
been doing alot of soul searching in the last couple days. Still haven't listed those goals we talked about. It's hard because when you asked me what will my goals be if H comes back, I went blank! LOL
kaw - thanks darlin, for bringing me back down to earth, who knows, these things may be just placebos anyway but hey, they are working and i feel it! LOL - pma is definitely UP
deb - gosh girl, i certainly do miss you my sweet. but looks like you have been SO busy lately with your HUSBAND!!! your like a high school girl in love again, oh my - that feeling must be divine!!! things are happening for you darlin, and to think that a short few months ago there was NOTHING going on!!! now he is calling and coming over, even surprise visits. awesome stuff
pam - you have been scarce lately on the board, i would imagine you are taking everyone's advice eh? boy, what would we do without this board?
mal - mal, your story from the beginning struck a chord with me and all i kept thinking was "i hope i can become that strong" - and yes my dear, it's happening!!!
jeannine - so am i let me tell you!!!
shiny - each day i am on these things it gets to feeling better and better. i didn't realize it was this nice to feel normal. half the reason i haven't been on board lately is because i finally have felt like doing EXTRAS around the house!!!
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POSITIVES
well, i haven't been around lately, but there have been postives in my sitch. not much to report, hubby and i are in a downslope in regards to finances so things are a bit stressful.
1) he keeps asking if i am mad at him for not making money (how silly he is) and i tell him that i am just frustrated along with him cause i see how hard he is trying and nothing is working these last two weeks (he is in the automobile industry) - so i told him i was sorry if i appeared mad, that was the furthest thing from the truth, just concerned for him, and he told me thanks!
2) the other night (tuesday) there was a beta induction ceremony at oldest sons school - hubby and i whenever we are together in functions like that sit with daughter in the middle so that both of us can watch her. i had gotten up to get a drink of water and hubby had asked daughter to sit in the adjacent seat and him and i sat together. there was much arm touching during the night, along with funny comments about different things during the evening. felt good to flirt with him again!!!
3) been cooking alot together at night. he is a really good cook, but i forever thought it was MY JOB and so i wouldn't like him in the kitchen. and i find he really enjoys being in there so we have a good time
4) went grocery shopping together wednesday night - had fun! this is our 4th trip grocery shopping together since the bomb. another thing he really enjoys and i am glad i am finally allowing him that comfort
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i am seriously sorry for neglecting everyones sitch this week. i have kept up with all of you, just haven't had time to post. i will make an effort to be more supportive
also, i just reordered the dr book from the library so that i can participate in sages thread
