Stop giving him choices. The only one he needs is either to stay or go. Period!
You keep making it seem like it's all on the OW but your H is reciprocating! She texts/calls/emails and he runs over there.
No contact means NO CONTACT! I don't care what she has to say...
He keeps going back and forth because you allow him to.
He is VERY confused right now. A's are like an addiction to a drug.
Boundaries need to be set, as well as consequences for his actions.. but to be honest, right now I think it's best you give him an ultimatum and throw him out if he doesn't follow through.
Then, you go, GAL and be the best and most attractive person you can possibly be!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
What qualities does your husband have that you believe make him good husband/life partner material, and worth fighting thru his addictions and issues for?
We used to have so much fun together. We have a lot in common and we HAD the same ideas of what we wanted together. I am attracted to him and he is very intelligent and funny. I do not like the way he has acted since she came into our lives. I wish that I would have NEVER befriended her...I dont understand how 2 people could cause so much hurt, agony, destruction and hate towards another human being. I will never understand it..Talk about vindictive...come on..I could never destroy a family like that. I would never. How spiteful and mean. It is not like she did not know he was married. She could have said no you are married to swimming and you have kids.. The thing I hate about all of this is the bs about sticking around for the kids. She feeds his head full of SO much bs! I want to say..hey..you want him you can have him. I am not in high school anymore. I wont play these games. WILL NOT!
AND OW...no matter WHO I am with I will always be a better person that you..in every aspect of my life!!!!!!!! She knows that. She is pathetic..she is the one who has to live with herself! Creepy Bi***! Same goes for my husband..I gave him a choice do you want to stick around and have a wonderful life with your family or do you want to cause destrutcion and keep up this life you have!
I agree with the others. He will continue this behavior as long as you allow it. Boundaries without enforced consequences are not boundaries, they are wishful thinking.
Judge his actions, not his words.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
We used to have so much fun together. We have a lot in common and we HAD the same ideas of what we wanted together.I am attracted to him and he is very intelligent and funny. I do not like the way he has acted since she came into our lives.
Before she came into your lives, and took over, how would you describe y'all's sex life. You don't have to answer to the public, just think about it.
Originally Posted By: swimmingupstream
I want to say..hey..you want him you can have him. I am not in high school anymore. I wont play these games. WILL NOT!
What do you remember from those high school games of jealousy and attraction and playing hard to get? Remember girl's choice couple's skate?
I am not sure where I left off but he kept going over there the week of the May 10th and was telling me about it. I knew. Because I could see her leave at lunch. To make a long story short because I hate long drawn out stories, I was threatened by OW via a string of text messages hearing how she is not responsible for his actions, I do not contact her, I have not contacted her and I WONT play her games. I told my husband enough was enough, it had to end because I could not live this way anymore. I made it clear if there was any further contact that that would be the end of it. I heard things from him over that weekend such as I love you, we need to need each other, we need to be 100% honest with each other and so forth. He has flipped flopped alot of the past few weeks, loving one second and backing off the next. My issue is that the only time they could have contact is at work so there is no way for transparency. I also have a problem with the fact that "she" supposedly ended it and he did not. Therefore, I question his movitavtion. I have really had enough. He said I either trust him or I dont...It is not that simple for me. How can I trust him again? I feel like I am living in limbo right now? What do I do? It has affected SO many lives and that is what upsets me. My children DO feel the affects of it. My parents and his sister feel the effects of it and it does not matter at ALL to them? Really? Is it worth it to hurt so many people? I know I am rambling but I need some help here!
As for the se*...that has never been an issue with us.
