"Honesty....with all of you and myself. Wish I could spill that out to Gabe but that is not fair to him to put my feelings on him."
(1) This is some of the martyr crap I was talking about.
(2) There is nothing unfair about reporting your thoughts and feelings to another person, including Gabe.
(3) MOREOVER, you are making yourself your own victim by silencing yourself and acting like you have no right to share your thoughts/feelings with someone. That's bull. The real reason is that you are afraid to do so. And, the reason you want to share is because you want reassurances of safety and stability and magic happy endings. Such assurances are not available. Relationships are emotionally risky. You have a new R. Neither of you knows what will happen with it. Accept the risk or get out.
(4) If I were you, I would wait to blab to Gabe. Not because it is unfair (it isn't), not because it won't elicit the reassurance you crave (it won't), but because it will be better for both of you if you give Gabe time and space to figure out his own thoughts and feelings before sharing yours.
(5) Maybe you should post in infidelity or separated. Many people here are struggling with being OK. It is hard for them to see a door open in your R. It is hard for them not to project their keep-the-door-bolted-just-so-I-don't-fall-apart feelings onto you. Not so helpful if you have decided to explore a new R. Beginner's mind. The past is relevant only with respect to changes to make for the future.
