Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[newmama]

Wow, BD- I don't want to jinx anything but it really sounds like your H is trying to connect with you without "talking" about it.
He is truly committed to your baby at this point! He gave up tickets to his favorite sporting event?

Graduation- I predict the DB coaches would say to go. You are still married to your H so if anyone asks who you are seeing, you say his name. If they ask how you know him, you say he is my husband. I doubt anyone will ask! And don't you think he will introduce you like "This is BD! Soon to be best mom ever of our son!" lol- my point is that he might be able to introduce you without saying "wife." It would be revealing though if he did introduce you as wife!

(fyi at this point, I haven't had to explain my H to anyone thank God! BUt I think I would tell the mommas at the swim class that we are separated and leave it at that!)


Great job just going with the flow!!!

[Piano]

You handled yourself really well, especially your composed response to H's 'he won't recognise my voice'. Good on you!

I'd go to his graduation. It's give and take at the moment with you guys. He's working hard. So you can give an inch when it feels right to do so.

Really sounds like your H has a clue or two about what being supportive means...I mean, that wasn't at ALL the case the last few months, but maybe he's clearly working on it.

best, all the same, to be cautious.. he's done it once and it capable of leaving you in the lurch again (sorry, don't mean to be blunt but think it's important to take care of you and be wary and openminded at the same time).

HUGS!

[JacT]

Babydoll, I think the signs are very very positive.You are giving him the space he needs and you are finding yourself again.Everything happens for a reason and perhaps God in the strange way he works, wanted to give you both a little shake to prepare you for the arrival of you little one.Clearly what you are doing, is working so keep doing it! and keep your expectations at zero.
Your H feelings will continue to soar but when the baby arrives,whilst it is the most wonderful,it is also the most tiring and really hard work..so be conscious of this and make an even bigger effort to work on yourselves.More importantly ensure you have time together as a couple, keep seprate intersts so you are interesting to each other.A mistake I made.
Great..soooooo happy for you.
ps the girls are fine.I think he is totally embarassed and hurt that he could and has hurt us in the way he has.Interesting he works all day and out running every night..perhaps avoidance..is he starting to look at her and resenting where he is..wishful thinking on my part...love and hugs babydoll(())

[gatsby11]

Hey!

I'd also go to the graduation. But it's really good that you delayed your response.

Keep just doing what you're doing!

[Babydoll]

One other thing... walking to car last night and H opened my car door for me... I cant remember if H ever did that for me ever...

So today I realized, H and I really have no reason to communicate today. and was curious to see how many days it would take for him to call and just say hello or whatever...

I recieved several texts... and a phone call! All before noon!

I am being extremely cautious! Telling myself he is doing all this for the baby, and because I am pregnant. None of this makes what he did ok at all...

Will wait for him to bring up graduation again... and then I will say yes.

Shockingly I am not analyzing things or trying to figure out what any of this means... Taking one minute at a time and just trusting the process. Going with the flow... Low expectations! Too shocked to have anything more...

Slept really good the past two nights...

Thanks everyone for your support!

[Babydoll]

this is hard... patience has never been my strong suit. I want changes immediately...

Today I fnd myself thinking too much... try to figure out what everything means... realize that i a chancing my entire future... leaving it in the hands of someone who ripped my heart out and left me once already. Realize that I can seriously be fooling myself into thinking this could be a step towards friendship.

i tell myself over and over, he is not coming back, just being nice for the baby. just feeling guity bc he left you.. just doing what he needs to do to be a part of the baby's life. All will probably change when baby is born, or when he find a girlfriend. Instead of affirmations i find myself convincing myself that he is never coming back and i shouldnt read into anything. Well, today it got to me... made me feel a bit down. Lots of craziness going on in my life... grandmother in hospital, took a nasty fall, and it really brought me down. Work is crazy and only have weeks to make things perfect for my leave.

i woke up last night and my first reaction was to say to H, hold me... i needed a hug.

but he wasnt there.

[DaddyLongShanks]

What state you live in babydoll?

[gatsby11]

Did he not contact you much today, BD? I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother; hope she gets better.

Patience is REALLY difficult. It's all part of the journey, I guess. . .

[newmama]

Babydoll- remember your positive thinking... and keep your guard up but at the same time, recognize what things you are doing to draw your H to you. Keep the faith! He could have divorced you right?

I hope your grandmother recovers well....

[Babydoll]

he did contact me today... al day actually. even now.

So Grandmother was rushed to hospital yesterday. ironically it is the same hospital that H does his school clinical in. And strange and odd as it may be, h was on call last night (very rare...never happens...what r the chances), so he was at the hospital all day and night w my family. He text me in the morning yesterday just to didnt call him to tell him. At that point he was still home... I told him in reply to his text about other things, didnt think he would mind if i didnt call right away. Seems like he cares...

So H hung out w my family in the ER while on call, and text me update while he sat w my mom, sisters and gmom and everyone else!
texts continued throughout the day and while going up to see Gmom last night he called, and i said i was driving up. When i walked in the hospital, i almost fell over, he was waiting for me in the lobby. he stayed in the room with us. he went to get his bags out on the on-call room and brought them to my gmom's room to hang out. at one point gmom was sleeping, and the others went to get food... how romantic... me, H and sleeping Gmom. hahaha

My family loves loves loves loves him. they all told me although what he did was completely wrong, they love him like he is their own and would forgive him. thank goodness I am 100% okay with it... actually I am really happy to see that they would welcome him back with open arms, no judgement and also am glad H gets to see this too. apparantly they all expressed how they missed him and love him, nothing more (i think). they are all rooting and pushing for a reconciliation, but dont show him that. they just show him support and were so darn happy to see him...

H seemed happy and completly normal. before his shift ended early this morning he stopped back in the room to say goodbye to my mom and gmom. Mom said that is the H she always knew and loved.

He has been in very little communication with my family over the past few months... lately I find that he has been reaching out.

Today he text me and called several times. He is starting to share all of these things with me like he used to such as what's going on with his friends... the patients and cases he dealt with while at the hospital... just like old times.

His family has been calling, stopping over, making plans w/ me for dinner...

seems like everyone else is in place just waiting for the stars to align and H to come back home!

few more texts just came through... just wanted to see how i was, what am i up to... and just to talk...

sigh