Last night, I tried to make things a lot clearer to my W and be more firm in what I had decided.
When I got home, she had supper made and a plate on the counter for me. I talked to the kids for a few minutes as they ran up to when I came in the house. I put the plate of food in the microwave and said it looks and smells good. No response. I then simply said, " How's it going?" She turned and walked the other way. I sat down and ate and she went outside. When I got done, I put the dishes in the sink, went and talked to the kids some more, told them I was going to help a friend work on his house and I would be home after they went to bed. Gave them all kisses, told them I would see them in the morning. I walked through the kitchen where W was putting up dished and said, "Come out into the shed for a second when you get done."
She came out a few minutes later and stood there with her arms crossed. I was loading a cooler with beer and said, "I have been thinking all day about what I told you the other day and feel that I need to clear things up a little bit. I told you I would go to MC with you when and if you were ready. I think MC would benefit us as far as communication, and rebuilding trust, friendship and, eventually, love in our M. So, before we do anything else, I need to know if you are willing to go to one with me and work on these issues to see if this M can be saved. If you won't agree to go with me, you need move out and file for divorce. I can't continue to live with someone who treats me the way you do and treats the children the way you do."
She said some things that made no sense, like the kids would be better off if we separated, she is tired of trying by herself. She said, " I thought you agreed we needed to separate." I said that I had simply thought about it and changed my mind. That's not what would be best for me or the kids.
As I was getting in the car to leave, I said, "Look, I refuse to get into another arguement. Everything has been said that needs to be said. I need to know in the next couple of days if you will go to MC or not. What we do next depends on your answer. If you won't go with me and refuse to move out, I will get a L and file for D myself. We will then let the judge decide who goes where and who gets what. 'Bye. I won't be late." And I left.
I think I did it better this time. I was not emotional or pissy, just matter of fact, business like.
BTW, as I was getting in my car, S4 and D6 were at the window saying, "'Bye, Daddy. I will miss you. I love you. See you in the morning." I told them the same, blew them a kiss.
