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Oh I begged the SG to do something, say something to make me hate him so it would be easier to move on. I said every rotten thing I could think of, so why shouldn't he?

He wouldn't. And in the end, I am not sure it would have mattered anyway.

I think it just takes time.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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v1olin Offline OP
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Damn, that did't work eh? I guess I wont do that then. I still feel that connection to her even though we don't talk or even see each other. I wonder if she misses me. I wonder if I will ever love anyone else the same way. I don't think I will have anymore children either and that is part of why I feel so connected to my STBXW. I guess this is just yet another level to the healing that I need to go through.


Me 35
Wife 34
Two daughters 8 years and 3 years
Bomb 3/30/09
W filed 4/16/09
We met in'92 married in 2000
Divorce final
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It's funny how the WAS's cheat and feel no guilt, yet the LBS feels guilty when they finally move on.....


"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn

Suzy
M: 6/22/85; D: 1/31/08
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LOL I figured that would be a sure thing! I was giving him free reign to say every nasty thing in the world to me. And he wouldn't. I am sure it was self serving, though. He doesn't want to be the bad guy. (rolling eyes...). I am not so sure it is because they care about our feelings, but more that they want to be able to tell everyone how horrible we are and how amicable they wanted to make this entire process.

And all I have to say is WHAAAATEVAHHHHH....


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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v1olin Offline OP
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Yes, I feel that too! She is so goody good and just wanted it all to end so nice and easy. PUKE! But damn it, I am still attracted to stbxw! I wish she would whore around or something! I wished for a long time that she would leave the country and abandon her kids and I, to be with the other man.


Me 35
Wife 34
Two daughters 8 years and 3 years
Bomb 3/30/09
W filed 4/16/09
We met in'92 married in 2000
Divorce final
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Please the SG did whore around, and I still would have jumped his bones if I got the chance! Even being halfway across the country, not really talking to him, and not seeing him for over a year, I still miss him!

And regularly fight the urge to email him and tell him that!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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v1olin Offline OP
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Wow, we seem to be on the same page here! I fought very hard during that last text exchange to not tell her "I miss you."


I do miss her but I knew I could not hear one more time, "I DON'T miss you." or "I don't love you anymore."


Me 35
Wife 34
Two daughters 8 years and 3 years
Bomb 3/30/09
W filed 4/16/09
We met in'92 married in 2000
Divorce final
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Quote:

It's funny how the WAS's cheat and feel no guilt, yet the LBS feels guilty when they finally move on.....


Oh, they feel guilt, but they would never show it to the LBS, or anyone else for that matter, under normal circumstances. My was a WAW from her first M (yeah, yeah, I know, I should've seen the red flags). Most of the time she acted like her leaving him was for the best, and they're both so much better off, blah, blah, blah.

Many years ago when our son was diagnosed with a speech delay, I came home and my W was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she held her head down and said weeping "The reason S2 has the speech delay is because God is punishing me for leaving <first H>." I was blown away. She had never shown any guilt or remorse about it ever before, or since, but it's in there.

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You know, that is a good point. The SG had been a WAH every time. The two prior wives (hey I had two prior husbands too so it seemed kismet...) did not seem to bother him (I knew the second a little. She was a royal b*tch). But he did have one g/f in between. One day he received an email from her, and he was telling me about it. She wanted pictures of him. Anyway, he said he felt really bad about the way he ended things with her, because she really didn't deserve it.

I don't know. I will tell you that I am the only ex he still talks to.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 1,045
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v1olin Offline OP
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Future, I know that she feels guilt and shame and all but she does not ever show it! I guess it is a big deal that she actually said sorry in her text to me.


Me 35
Wife 34
Two daughters 8 years and 3 years
Bomb 3/30/09
W filed 4/16/09
We met in'92 married in 2000
Divorce final
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