I think I'm just about at that point. I really wanted to do this without attys like he said to keep his tension levels down, but this is ridiculous. I need a third party to help- someone to let stbx know when he's full of sh!t... he sure won't believe me when I tell him.
I stayed home today, I know I shouldn't let myself get upset but I was in the bathroom at 3am last night with stomach issues as a result of all this and still felt like cr@p when the alarm went off this morning. My tummy is still rather touchy tonight.
I think it's time to just give it to your attorney. No point in arguing.
Originally Posted By: Virtually_Handsome
I really believe it's time to stop playing by his rules.
VH says it all.
As I've said before, your best strategic and self-preservation move is to go completely dark. No contact! And while I've characterized him several ways in many posts, it is time to realize the stark, inescapable fact that this is one sick, narcissistic psychopath.
Characteristics of a Psychopath
superficial charm self-centered & self-important need for stimulation & prone to boredom deceptive behavior & lying conning & manipulative little remorse or guilt shallow emotional response callous with a lack of empathy living off others or predatory attitude poor self-control promiscuous sexual behavior early behavioral problems lack of realistic long term goals impulsive lifestyle irresponsible behavior blaming others for their actions
Please stay away, go dark, do not respond, do not engage, get a lawyer and let the lawyer handle all communications, even to the point of informing sick, narcissistic psychopath to cease all communication and contact with you. This kind of quasi-threatening harassment probably would qualify for a court-ordered protection order. Please.
Last edited by Gardener; 04/28/1002:23 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I really wanted to do this without attys like he said to keep his tension levels down
Quote:
I know I shouldn't let myself get upset but I was in the bathroom at 3am last night with stomach issues as a result of all this and still felt like cr@p when the alarm went off this morning.
((((BUNNY)))))
Do you see how these two things above are mutually exclusive, and incompatible for you? You are suffering for the exclusive benefit of your STBX to NOT be suffering!
you are the only one important enough to you to change the rules here for you, and the outcome. Please consider doing what others have suggested, go dark, and get you L to do the talking.
I realize how tough this can be, but what is more important to you right now, saving some money, while you suffer, your physical health declines because of this, etc?
You can not control how your stbx will react, or what he will say or do, so take him out of your space by putting someone who will advocate for you in his space instead, namely, your L, and then you can focus on what is important for you right now.
Your health, your well being, your future, your children, and whatever else you deem is important to you right now!
I truly hope you feel better, bunny, we are hear to listen to you if you need it!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I've been around, lurking, but I haven't really had much to say lately. D17 is still coming by the apt more often and getting her room in shape, and S19 just finished his first year of college yesterday.
I sent my counter-offer to stbx last night and I'm waiting for the backlash. I'm amazed he was asking for my response within two days of sending it. I finally sent it after 10 days and reviewing it with my atty. Basically, what it comes down to is that I want an equitable 50/50 split of the assets and spousal support reasonably close to that under the "Income Equalization" theory. I'll forgo a year of child support if he comes close to that- right now he isn't on either point. I can't believe that I was worth less (than him) in this M.
I have been a little dismayed reading some of the comments on a couple other threads lately. I realized I was taking them personally and therefore kept my mouth shut- some of their comments are remarkable similar (sometimes even the same!) to what stbx told me. (I do realize that the guys are venting...)
Tonight is IC appt. I'm not sure how much longer I'll keep them up, I usually feel fine.
SpyBunny reporting in, you know, the one who's a lazy, parasitic vulture and incompetent housewife who's counting on archaic 1950's-style support laws designed to help uneducated, repressed women with no income possibilities to bail her out, who's emotionally manipulating and feeding her kids misinformation, who's stalking his dating life, and who failed to follow his career and financial advise, and now has to suffer the consequences of those bad decisions and actions...
I sent an email yesterday asking how he wanted to proceed next in our negotiations and to point out a couple of additional financial facts that hadn't been considered yet. He responded with the above (I paraphrased 10 paragraphs down into that one sentence.) He wants to meet face to face tonight to discuss the sep agreement, but I know that's a bad idea.
Part of me wants to say f*** him, run and just forget the whole damn thing. I don't want a penny if it means he disappears from my life, I'll make it work somehow. Another part of me doesn't want to let him off the hook. I'm torn which way to go.
