Confused and looking for advice

[hockeymom12]

I do not even know where to start. My soon to be ex husband (I guess not really sure what he is thinking), stopped talking to me just after x-mas, after 8 weeks of trying to figure it out and trying to get him to talk, he decided it was easier to move out, he has now been gone 12 weeks. We have been together 16 years, married for 11. The fact that he moved out floored me, we have 2 kids and I did not even know we were having problems prior to him not talking. Now he is not the best communicator and apparently this is the problem, he has kept stuff bottled up for a long time and he is now so angry he cannot even see us working on this. He will not go to marriage counselling and will not even talk about the situation. He has gone from I want a divorce, to there is hope, then to I do not want a divorce but I do not know if I will ever come home. He has encouraged me to buy a new place and move on and if he decides to come back in the future hopefully I will take him back but he just cannot deal with it right now. As of last week I gave him a letter cutting off all contact, we have spoken a bit since but I have told him again today to stop contacting me. Our son last night told him that since he has decided to not ever come home how about he just stay away from now on. As a father how can you hear that and not care enough to try and save a marriage that really had no big issues. We were best friends, rarely argued and just generally were happy, apparently though we put our kids first to many times and he feels like he does not love me anymore. I am not sure what I am looking for by posting this but basically just some thoughts, I am having a very hard time with having lost not only my spouse but my best friend and I just cannot seem to move on.