Need Help with Husband's MLC

[JeanBean]

Thanks for asking! :o) I have read the detachment and was blown away - my husband and I are a pittiful mess and I see both of us in so much of it so I am stepping back.

I believe that the split we had 4 years ago started us on the right path to healing and we got back together too soon because of our son and now it is an even bigger mess.

I believe I stand in the way of him healing because of trying to "help him" and I see where we both have "stunted" each others growth and become resentful and blaming of each other instead of getting what we should be out of our relationship. We are hurting each other even though neither of us means to.

I have put my focus on me and paying attention only to the areas in me that he has complained about that are valid and I do not like in myself. I have also put the focus on my healing because I have neglected it and feeling my feelings and accepting them and letting them go.

It is kind of a strange way of looking at it but I view it as a giant black sickness that I am giving to God to take from me so that I can be strong enough to handle the black sickness in my husband if that is meant to be without causing further harm and destruction.

I have had a lot of really difficult and painful experiences since childhood in my life and I feel like they happened to prepare me for this and I need the strength and endurance that only an "unsick" inside can give, mind, body, and spirit - whole and healthy.

As it stands it's been like the blind leading the blind and we just bump into walls. That doesn't work. I can't make my husband well but I can make me well (God willing) and that is what I am doing.

Thanks again for checking in on me I will definately read the rest of them as well. The detachment one really hit home for me though. :o)