screwing up big time and need help

[newmama]

I think men need work (women do too!!) and he needs to find a job in some form, even working from home, which will help his confidence.

Meanwhile, elvencat, I think timeheals is right and that is why you should do your 180s and try to detach more than trying to help your H get his sh!t together. Let's say you compliment him a little for some of his contributions. Well meanwhile you totally worry about yourself because he is having an affair.