Good morning Shel,

After yesterday's "Welcome Shel to the wonderful world of MLC party" , I hope you are having a better day.

There are some really great people here, and all of them (us) are dealing with this daily. ( or did at one time ).

Some of them have chosen to heal..

Others have chosen to remain the "victim" of all of this. Not taking a step forward for themselves.

You have been witness to some of that here already.

The sooner you get it, the sooner you can start to heal, and not remain in this daily rut that can consume oneself.

Every person is different, the same as every MLC is different. We each have similarities , yet not two of us are the same.

Navigating your way through MLC will take time, patience, and restraint. A lot of it.

It will also require balance. In life, and with yourself.

You WILL stumble, and you will fall.

It is how you choose to deal with these things that will make a difference.

Nothing you do right now will make a difference , yet everything you do right now will make a difference.

I tend to post from a philosophical side of MLC. I'm not big on the daily grumblings of your life.

I live by the addage of teach a man to fish, instead of giving a man a fish.

Each interaction with your spouse is just that......yours.

The way YOU CHOOSE to deal with that interaction is what you read and learn here.

You will need to "own" your interactions, or else they will scream fake.

An MLCer can smell fake from the LBS with an uncanny form.

There are gonna be things that are posted to you that will send shockwaves through your entire body....

What you will find is, that they are usually the ones that make the most difference in you.

Not sugar coated, and very real. But they will make YOU think, and think hard.

One usually doesn't get good answers from easy questions.

The best advice I can give you, is to read. I have lost myself for an entire weekend in the Archives here.

I will let the women post a list of people to read and follow.

Take some time reading, and understanding MLC. Ask questions, and post to others.

That is all part of finding that balance that you will need to find.

No offense yesterday....

I have developed a pretty thick skin.

Sometimes.....

It takes something like that to really open ones eyes.

MLC is different.

Most of the posts here are about self-growth, and healing.

Giving this to God and working on yourself.

Becoming the person YOU want to be.

To be honest ?

Most people who have "gotten" it, don't GAS about your marriage, they care about you, and your growth and healing.

Anything less than that is a ploy.

So ask questions, and really understand this monster called MLC...

And work on you...



It will serve you well....