Need Help with Husband's MLC

[JeanBean]

I know that you are right, I know that self-esteem is from yourself and I have always believed you can't give what you don't have yourself (self-love) and I use to love myself no matter what even if I stood alone so I know how unhealthy I am and how it is destroying me physically as well. I am kinda trying to heal everything at this point and am really greatful to have found this site! I know this is going to help me alot! :o)

I think my husband's rejection at the same time as all of my own struggles - depression & being diagnosed with ADHD & chronic health issues made me feel terrible about myself and reinforced my feelings of not being good enough and made me feel very alone and worthless.

I used to be a huge optimist - just naturally, always curious and loved to be alive. I always viewed life as a gift. I remember what that feels like and life without depression, anxiety, and fears and I am determined to get "her" back (accept alot wiser and stronger).

Part of what I have been doing is learning all I can about ADHD and what helps and what hurts with it because it sure isn't going anywhere! It has pros to it also and not just cons and I need to play up the pros and recognize and do what I can to help with the cons and accept them without feeling bad about them.

I guess what I am figuring out is regardless of my husband I need to be able to look in the mirror again and smile and mean it and love being alive again and if he can love her too I will be thrilled and if he doesn't there is nothing I can do about that. Thanks for all of your words of wisdom and advice. Truth is always welcome! :o)

AND please feel free to poke me when necessary if I start veering off course - I need to be held accountable and recognize that I need help with that! Thanks again! :o))