Okay, I do have a question about this. He's said it twice now, that I just don't seem to care that he's gone. Once was when I was trying to diffuse & said, "I understand why you would be upset." His response was, "that the point! You're not upset at all!"
And again yesterday, when I wasn't arguing with him (which did happen, briefly) or when I was validating some of the things he was saying, he got upset and would make comments about how he wasn't going to "fake being happy" or "pretend that everything is fine".
Does he want me to feel like crap? Does he think that seeing me crushed is going to make him feel better?
He is most likely going to behave like an emotional teenager. You are going to hear all sorts of things. It's up to you to take a HONEST look and see if what he is saying holds any truth.
You have to remember that right now he will do whatever it takes to avoid dealing with his issues and coming to terms with himself. MLC'ers behave much like addicts. Speaking of which, I do agree with Fig. (I missed the part about possible drug use) You need to find out for sure and stand firm on that one.
With that being said. "Does he want you to feel like crap?" Deep down.... No, however when you act strong, confident, friendly and respectable it makes it difficult for him to project these issues of his on to you. I'm not going to say it forces him to take a look in the mirror because that one is ALL on him, but it does make it more difficult for him to place the blame onto you. You're not playing the game.
He will also most likey say and do things to get you to react. He will push your buttons and try to keep you involved in the turmoil. Take your buttons away and take a step back.
So, in a strange way they don't like to see us strong, happy and living life. They like to play the victim and when you don't play the game, chances are you will be met with some anger and more craziness.
Keep your focus on you and your children, stay strong and remain lovingly detached.
