I know and it is horrible to think that someone was in that much pain. It is really hard to get past all the mean things he did to his wife while he was with OW, though. Cutting her off financially when she had no job? Telling her he was leaving her in a Post It note? Calling the girls on their cel phones to say he was leaving?
Last week was totally financial. He did NOT want to pay her support. Yet he made a ton of money and they'd been in the same house for 20 plus years. He had paid on their LOC last week. Signed a temporary support agreement last week. He just did not want to see a lot of his paycheck going to her yet it was him who insisted she quit her good job 10 years ago to help get the kids off to school in the morning and to stay home and keep a perfect house. He wanted a Stepford wife.
The funeral was lovely. If you can believe it - his mother and his oldest daughter delivered the Eulogies and his daughter (who is an aspiring singer/songwriter sang 3 of his favourite songs. His mom talked about depression from a personal perspective and it all really helped.
His lawyer was away last week on vacation. Maybe he could have convinced him that he wasn't ruined financially. He came at the very end of visitation. He told her that he didn't even know they'd been apart a year or that he had been living with an OW. Steve was just too embarrassed to tell him I guess. That is the kind of perfectionist he was. At any rate - he did reassure my friend that she will be ok financially. He was appalled that she had not received support up until now.
So many missing pieces in this puzzle. I hope she finds the strength to carry on. It will be incredibly difficult. She has struggled so much in the past and fortunately - she has let some of us help her. We will have to be there for her now more than ever.
It is all so exhausting.
Donna - I'm sorry that this must bring up a lot of bad stuff for you. It does for me as well - remembering all the times Chuck (my ex) tried it. The horror I felt each time I went to the E.R. and the worry he would try it all again.
There are some things we just can't fully understand.
