"He never did understand that what he went through was a MLC..and he doesn't remember but very little of it; if he remembers anything at all.
If they don't do all the facing of the damage they did before they completely exit the tunnel, when the forgetting happens, you can't go back and resurrect anything from that time."
HB,
I copied the above from the other post. I didn't want to reply there since you started your own thread. I have a question about you saying your husband never did understand that what he went through was MLC. So, are you saying that because he doesn't remember everything he said or did, that to him it didn't happen and therefore he does not understand the whole MLC thing? In a whacky, mixed up MLC thinking kind of way, that makes sense to me. If they don't remember what they said or how they acted, it stands to reason that even if they read everything about MLC, they wouldn't recognize they went through it. They might even read all of the resources we have read and think that poor MLC person is really in need of help.
I have to admit that sort of depresses me. I suppose I have been wishing and hoping my husband, who is intelligent, would come to the realization he is in MLC and would at least agree to seek help. A year ago he went to the doctor where he asked what was wrong with him....he was feeling numb about everything. He also went to talk with our pastor. There he told him things that I had supposedly done to him...but they never happened. He really believes they happened, though.
My 2nd question is that 2nd quote. When you say if they don't face all the damage they have done, you can't go back after they start forgetting everything.....do you mean if we tell them the damage they've done? Or do they remember most of it for some period of time?
God showed me early on in this journey that the best thing I could do was forgive my husband. And even though I thought I had done that over the years, the Lord showed me I really hadn't. So, it took this MLC experience for me to learn to really forgive. And when I did that, all the anger towards him left me. Now, that doesn't mean I don't get ticked off or impatient, but I am not angry towards him. I miss him terribly. And I hate this separation and hardly any contact with him because I'm afraid that will just allow him to be in his own cocoon where he doesn't have to face any reality at all. My husband not only left me, but he also hasn't had contact with our 3 adult children. It's way beyond what I think of as simply MLC. And I am ignorant of what I can do to help him.
You are a wonderful woman and I believe you have been sent here to help all of us. It's so helpful to gain insight from one who has walked before us. God bless you!
