feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

I got a preliminary support order from the opposing side (insert grossed out face here) the numbers are sad. I am not going to sign it. My L thinks I should and reminds me it's temporary but seriously...I don't want to think this is ok with me so no signature from me.

I can't wait to hear what my L is gonna say to me..he's probably gonna be upset with me but oh well. This is my future we're talking about and I'm not settling unless I have to.

I almost lost it there for a minute. I had to calm down and pull myself together. I didn't think I could feel such rage. To think I felt sorry for this loser of a father and a husband. I gave him a $1200 tv and a mac computer. I should have made him fight for it like he is making me fight for every stupid dollar. It's embarrassing!

God help me and forgive me for the hateful feelings I'm experiencing right now. Pray for me guys. I knew I couldn't feel ok for too long...somewhere he had to sucker punch me when I wasn't looking.