WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

A very real issue is that she has an image of me that seems to be a conglomeration of every bad memory she has ever had in our entire relationship. It doesn't matter what I am now; she refuses to see it.

I think that's pretty common if they are still in the fog. As we've read hundreds of times; consistency, so they know the changes are real, and no pressure.

One question that I don't think I've ever asked you: Do you think separation has helped or hurt your sitch and why?

I guess I'm trying to prepare myself for what seems like the inevitable next step in my sitch. Some of the success stories, i.e. Coach & Greek, had a physical separation and it worked out for them. I know it is not necessarily the last straw and living together has it's advantages, just wondering where you think you would be right now if you hadn't separated.

IDU, I think I have one of the more hopeless cases on this board. My sitch has never shown any improvement at all since the day of the bomb, which is coming up on one year. And I've pretty much done everything but file.

I don't think separation has done anything for my situation, but it was necessary given my W's behavior. What it has done is removed the constant gloom of my W's attitude from my home, which has helped ME. You can't have that around you; it will only suck you down into their pit of despair.

With the benefit of hindsight, when this all plays out, I might have a different take on things. But we've been separated 6 months now, and I don't know of any successes with OMs and separation that have played out that long. They may be out there, I'm just not aware of them. It seems like success stories have WAWs waking up pretty early in the separation. I don't know what you can consider the point of no return.

So I guess the short answer is my sitch would be the same regardless of whether we separated or not, but my attitude is better for not having to live in the same home as a W in the state that mine is in.