I hopped on Sooboru's thread to check on her, and found some questions as to why I came back after having been gone for 8 years.
Quote:
HB - why is it that you are back on here? What is it that you are getting for yourself from this? I know you're helping people, and I am one of the ones that has been truly blessed by your words. I am in no way suggesting that you go away. Your words have brought me peace and understanding, I've printed them off and read and re-read them frequently. However, something about this...
Quote: With that said, in present day, I do NOT spend every day thinking about it...it is not until I come to the board, and read the situations here that memories come back of that time.
Made me think that there is something, some reason for YOU for YOUR marriage that you are on here.
My husband DID exit the tunnel in late 2002, yet, two years later, in late 2004, some strange things started happening, and I was so far within my own transition that I missed them.
It all had to do with a 7 year old child that somehow got "missed" as he was coming through, an emotional "block" if you will...the child of his parent's divorce.
He went into another tunnel, but it was NOT the SAME MLC tunnel that he'd been in before. It was a crisis tunnel of some sort, or a cyling bout, if you will.
Upon me starting to see things more clearly as I was on the downhill side of my own transition, I found myself taking up the mantle of responsibility once again, but not understanding why.
It was not until 8 months ago, that I was finally shown the last child...and I was still having trouble understanding what was going on.
In December 2009, the Lord showed me that something was going to happen that was going to bring my husband down, He didn't say WHAT it was, only, I was instructed to prepare for that event.
In February 2010, I came here to hopefully get some answers(I DID get those here and elsewhere) and a couple of days later, he fell in an icy parking lot and broke his ankle..the event I'd been warned about; and it was confirmed.
NOW, in this last 2 1/2 months he's been down, he's actually been settling this one "child" within himself. I could NOT help him with this; it had NOTHING to do with me, and all I could do was let go and let God.
And I did that, I had to, although, I've gone through quite a bit of frustration. Things were SO different this time around...I wasn't asked for a divorce, wasn't told a "speech"..I just saw personality changes that seemed to go backward, childlike actions and heard a tattle tale that I wanted to take a switch to....but I didn't. LOL!!
I took responsibility, came down hard on him when I needed to, worked with what I had for that time.
And I have watched him settle the child within, at least for now. I'd almost asked him to leave long BEFORE he broke his ankle, but the Lord instructed me to wait and watch..and I did that, too. Things began to get better; back and forth for a short period of time...then started forward more fully with the onset of his broken ankle.
It's behind him for now..but I've already been warned that it may NEVER go completely away; may never be settled in a total way..it will come back again and again, for as long as needed for whatever reason. I have also come to the understanding that some people NEVER get over the fact that their parents divorced when they were children, they are always of the belief that it was ALL their fault..and my husband is one of these people.
He HAS started opening up with me in a way that I've not seen in quite some time..and in time, will continue. He has also been released from the doctor, and is making preparations to go back to work again.
In the last 2 and a half months, I have come to a better understanding of what has happened within him, and the Lord has blessed me with that kind of knowledge.
I was unable to read him this time..the emotional bond between us did NOT break this time so I would be able to...and with that bond in place, I'm not allowed to read him or our son...in close family like that, it is not allowed for me to do that...and I accepted that...yet, I have felt the bond strengthen even more, especially in the last couple of months; of course, it made us BOTH sick; like it did beforehand.
Our son is in the process of closing the loan on his house, and in THAT process, a break was also made..again, it affected all three of us. Son is supposed to break away, but for some reason, I didn't realize that it would require the breaking of his bond to us..yet, it does. Again, husband and I suffered the effects of that break.
Many changes have occurred in this time.
I was always a spiritual person, who saw things, not just in the natural, but, also from a spiritual point of view..to me it is as natural as my breath.
As I have helped others, I have continued to receive what I've needed in the way of knowledge and understanding.
I have never gotten around to setting up another thread on this possible illustration, been too busy between my job, and continuing to help others.
I'd said I would stay and help for awhile in return for the answers I received to my questions...now how long that "while" is, I don't know...He has not given me instruction on any time as to when I will leave again.
I am learning, though, and continuing to use what He's given me to help others.
The memories of that time do NOT hurt me, bother me, or upset me at all; they are just there to be accessed upon the right questions, or from what I read.
I will be here until I am instructed to leave, this I DO know.
What I've aformentioned is what has happened long AFTER his MLC in my OWN situation/marriage..and doesn't give ANY indication that someone else would go through the same thing I saw happen.
Believe it, or not, I'm OK with this..no damage got done to me at all. I just saw it as another bump in the road to navigate. A result of the lessons I learned, I daresay.
Life is what it is, and it's never perfect.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
