[quote]AJM, He is not done. He has way too much emotion towards you. Hang in there.
AJ
Well, I hope you are right about this. I admit the thought has crossed my mind quite a few times. It just seems like to me if he was really over me and ready to move on, he wouldn't have this much emotion. I just think he has such messed up thinking that he's miserable. And his pride has him paralyzed into not even giving a thought that the problem could be in his own head. Much easier to just blame me. The part that I have a hard time with is just that....how could someone be so selfish to be more concerned with your own pride? He would much rather end our marriage, do damage to the relationship with his 3 adult children, (not to mention future grandchildren), have us lose our home and d and I will be homeless, and totally mess up both of our finances. All because he won't/can't recognize his need for counseling. I know that's what MLC is...I'm just venting here.
I've been going through some boxes we had in our garage. So, guess what I just found that I thought we had lost? The tape of our wedding! And, you know I am sooooooo tempted to make a copy of it and give it to him. Ok, I'm not going to do that, but oh the temptation is great!! I just think he needs some reminders of the life he left. He doesn't have any pictures with him.....of us, or the kids. He has nothing of our life of 33 years together. Which, of course makes it so much easier for him to stay in denial of his feelings. I'm sure that's why he doesn't want to see me or hear my voice......because he has a guilty conscience!! And, I confess there is a part of me that wants to see him and talk to him all the more because I don't think he should get off scott free. I don't think it's fair that he gets to hide in his own little world and ignore/deny the fact that he abandoned me. I guess I am in one of those moods where I want to strike out at him and cause him some pain.
The only problem with that is that now I've read too much about MLC. Now, I've learned so much and received so much wisdom from others that I know that's the wrong thing to do! Sometimes I just want to be the one who stomps her feet and throws a temper tantrum instead of having to be the adult. But, that won't get me anywhere, so I'll continue to plug along, even if it's at a slow pace.
I just think he needs some reminders of the life he left. He doesn't have any pictures with him.....of us, or the kids. He has nothing of our life of 33 years together. Which, of course makes it so much easier for him to stay in denial of his feelings. I'm sure that's why he doesn't want to see me or hear my voice......because he has a guilty conscience!! And, I confess there is a part of me that wants to see him and talk to him all the more because I don't think he should get off scott free. I don't think it's fair that he gets to hide in his own little world and ignore/deny the fact that he abandoned me. I guess I am in one of those moods where I want to strike out at him and cause him some pain. 
